Parent Trap: Selina

Parent Trap: Selina

"Were you surprised when the man that you thought to be your father just said he wasn't?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I was pretty shocked he would do something like that," Selina says. "At first, I didn't think he had it in his heart to leave me behind, but he did, and I just accepted it, and I moved on."

"Is he your father?"



"He's not my father. He hasn't proved to me that he deserves to be it, that he wants to be it."

 

"Do you think this is all about the money?"

 

"I feel that the only reason why he did all this was not to hurt me at all, just to have to pay less child support for me," Selina says. "I think he's the kind of person to judge what he thinks is right, rather than what is in his heart."

 

"Do you think that you'll ever have a relationship with him?"

"I don't think that I could after everything that's happened," she says.

"Sometimes you look at adults, you look at parents, and you think that we're supposed to have all the answers. We're supposed to do the right thing all the time, but the truth is, sometimes we can make really bad choices and really bad decisions, and the problem with that is you have to live with the bad decisions," Dr. Phil tells Selina. "What would just break my heart is if, someway through all of this, you responded by saying, ‘There's something wrong with me. I'm inadequate. I'm not a good daughter. I'm not a good child. I'm not a good person, or this wouldn't have happened,' when the truth is, that's not the case."

"If you probably talked to me two years ago, that probably would have been my response," Selina says.

Dr. Phil plays a video of Enrique commenting about the situation.



"My biggest regret, and I regret it to this day, is stopping visitation with Selina," he admits. "I wanted a sense of justice so bad that I was willing to cut off my nose to spite my face, and looking back, it feels like I cut out my heart when I did that. I feel that Selina is my daughter. I feel that I've been missing something, missing a part of my life."

Wiping tears from his face, he reveals, "I'm feeling sad because of the way that things have turned out, and I feel a huge sense of loss."

Selina responds, "I guess in a way it's kind of hard to believe that what he's saying is true."

"Do you think that you would want him in your life again?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Eventually," she says. "Maybe, in little baby steps we could work on some kind of relationship " not what it was before though, because he just doesn't get to be that to me anymore."

 

"Is there a trust issue here?"

 

"I don't trust him at all that he could take care of me the way that he took care of me before," Selina says.

Dr. Phil reiterates that what happened stemmed from adults making decisions and was not about her being less than her sister or being less than she could be. "You're a beautiful young woman, and you need to walk with pride, and dignity and hold your head up. You have nothing to be ashamed of here," he tells her. "I hope " baby steps or otherwise " that you allow a dialogue with Enrique, and you're able to say the things that you want to say, and ask the questions that you want to ask. I hope in time, when it feels right to you, that you're willing to do that."

Selina smiles.

 

Dr. Phil returns to the stage and continues his conversation with Enrique, Mia, Maria and Chris. "What did you think about what Selina had to say?" he asks the parents.



"It's hard hearing that because I see the pain. I see what my decision has inflicted on her," Enrique says.

 

Dr. Phil faces Maria and asks her, "What responsibility do you have for all of this?"

"I started it. I know that," she says.

"While he's talking, you're sitting here like, ‘Yeah, that's right, buddy,'" he says. "It does seem to me like you started this whole damn mess, lady." He

points out that Chris has offered to adopt Selina, but she said no.

 

"Is that why you just filed for Enrique to have zero percent visitation and for him to pay maximum child support, because you're considering an adoption?" Mia asks Maria. "I just saw you laughing on the screen, and I find nothing funny about this whatsoever, Maria … I don't think there's anything funny about emotional suffering, and I've never heard you express remorse to anyone."



"I expressed remorse to him from the beginning," Maria claims.

"I saw your e-mails. I saw the threats," Mia counters.

"There were no threats," Maria says. "I was sorry. I regret that decision. I regret not telling you." 

"Why are you trying to cut him totally out of her life?" Dr. Phil asks Maria.

"I'm not," Maria says. "He signed his parental rights away."

 

Enrique interjects his thoughts. "I am against the adoption. Chris, you're a standup guy, but adoption is the wrong path in this situation," he says. "The bottom line is it's personal responsibility. People need to take personal responsibility for their actions. I believe the biological father has a personal responsibility in terms of financial support. Just because I was tricked, just bec

ause I was deceived, does not make me the person responsible financially."

 

Dr. Phil addresses the couples. "I have two rules that I always try and follow with children," he tells them. "Number one, never hold children responsible for things they cannot control. And number two, never ask children to deal with adult issues."