"Pretty Ugly" - Michelle"

"I like to be seen with the most attractive people in the room," admits Michelle. "I do feel that I'm superficial. In my mind,

I will be one of the beautiful people by association." She's told complete strangers that they have beautiful hair, but she also is not afraid to point out when someone is not up to her standards, calling them "unfortunate" or "disgusting."

Michelle may be passing her superficial ways onto her daughter. "When I take my daughter to the park, I will scope out one of the best-looking children there and just kind of direct my daughter there," she explains. She points out the kids that are dressed cute, and checks in with her daughter to see if she has played with them. One time her
daughter wanted to play with a child that was "undesirable" to Michelle because she says the girl was very messy and they came in a "disgusting" car. "I don't want my daughter to grow up with friends like that," Michelle says.

Michelle even judges Dr. Phil on his looks. She says that he is an "OK looking man," but she likes him because Robin is his wife. "The fact that he is married to a beautiful woman, that validates him in my eyes. It makes him more credible as a doctor, because Robin finds him worthy," she explains.

Dr. Phil asks Michelle if she meets her own standards.

"No. Absolutely not," Michelle admits. "I would be the person that I would avoid at the park or a social function."

Dr. Phil wants to understand Michelle's viewpoint. "You're telling your daughter, ‘You can't play with ugly people.'"

Michelle clarifies, "In my own head I will steer my daughter, but she

doesn't know my intention behind it." But she admits that she has pulled her daughter away from a playmate that she thought was ugly.

 

"Does that just not seem incredibly superficial to you?" a shocked Dr. Phil asks.

"Absolutely," Michelle agrees. "I don't want to be that way. I don't want my children to be that way. I just am that way."

Dr. Phil suggests a way for Michelle to change. "Stop doing that!" he tells her. "You're smart enough, you're old enough, you're mature enough to know that that is incredibly superficial and is also incredibly wrong."

Michelle defends herself. "I've done it for so many years, I don't know how to stop," she says.

 

"Stop doing it," Dr. Phil tells her. "This is a conscious choice that a free-thinking adult is making."

Michelle admits to Dr. Phil, "Everything that I am scared of is everything that I am. I am the mother that people avoid at the park."


"Then don't you know the sting to that?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Absolutely," Michelle replies.

 

"But you told your daughter she could not play with a kid because her mom was fat, and you said, 'She's just not our kind,'" Dr. Phil points out.

"You didn't see her though," Michelle says and the audience gasps.

"I can see you and I know you can make a choice about this," Dr. Phil tells her. "This is not hard. You need to behave your way out of this. You need to walk your way out of this history."