Racy Tweens: Allison

13 Going on 30
Kati and Troy say that their 13-year-old daughter, Allison, acts far beyond her years. They say Allison's body started changing in the sixth grade, but so did the reaction from boys. Her mother says Allison began to relish the interest, wearing an inappropriate amount of makeup for a 13-year-old.

"It portrays this image of, ‘I'm much older.' It's going to get her the wrong kind of attention," Kati says.

Allison acknowledges that she knows her parents don't like her racy appearance.

"Allison and I have arguments almost on a daily basis," Troy acknowledges. "It's either that her clothing is too tight or too revealing."

"It's not my fault that I look so grown-up in my clothes," Allison defends. "It's because I have a more grown-up figure than most girls my age."

Her father, Troy, believes that Allison is addicted to the attention that she receives from boys. Allison categorically denies that.

[AD]"I do try to look older than I am," Allison admits. She says that she's only trying to escape the teasing she experienced in elementary school for her looks.

Allison's mother, Kati, says they recently found a condom in her bag " and also received a phone call from a school counselor telling them their daughter had engaged in inappropriate contact with a boy.

"Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean [that] we're doing that!" Allison defends.

"What scares me is the image that she portrays to boys," Kati says. "‘I'm available. I'm easy. I'm hot,'" Kati says.
Now joining Dr. Phil on stage, Allison says her main goal is getting her mother to trust her.

"What do you hope happens today?" Dr. Phil asks Kati.

"I want her to understand the role that her actions play in some of the circumstances that she gets into," Kati answers. "Especially with other girls."

"Just be a kid!" Troy adds. "That's all we want."

"I don't want to look hot!" Allison says. "I just want to wear clothes that make my figure more …"

"Hot!" Troy says, completing her sentence.

"Who are you trying to appeal to with your clothes and your look?" Dr. Phil asks.

Allison says she's attempting to appeal to boys and girls.

[AD]"Well, the cuter that you look, the meaner that [the girls] will get," Dr. Phil interrupts. "That's not the problem. When you become a threat " that's when they pick at you. Is there something that you wouldn't wear?" Dr. Phil asks.

Allison says that "booty shorts" and a midriff-bearing shirts are off limits to her.

When Dr. Phil puts up an image of Allison dressed in revealing shorts, she explains it away. "That's for a hot summer day!"

"Who's running the show in this house?"
Kati is afraid that the image Allison portrays is setting her up for unwanted attention, and possibly an attack.

"I can't help it if I have boobs, and a butt and curves!" Allison says defiantly. She says she'll never run the risk of getting herself into trouble because she knows now not to lead a boy on.

"She's not being realistic," Kati says.

"This is going to get exponentially worse " not better."

He tells her parents, "I believe that if you want results, you must appeal to children's greed," Dr. Phil says. "Kids are greedy. They want what they want when they want it, and they want it right now. You have to appeal to her greed," Dr. Phil tells Allison's parents. "She wants you to trust her."

Dr. Phil explains to Allison the meaning of the term, emotional integrity, doing what you say you're going to do. "If you want trust " you must teach them to trust you," he tells her.

He then reminds Allison's parents their important role. "You are the parents, and you have to make the decision," he says. "If you think that she is crossing the line with her clothing or her makeup, then you have to decide you [won't allow it]. And if she throws a tantrum," Dr. Phil says turning toward Allison, "You think you look you bad without makeup " wait until you show up at school with your eyes swollen and snot hanging out of your nose!" He tells Allison's parents, "This is commando parenting!"

Dr. Phil turns back to Allison. "I'm going to promise you that if you were my daughter, and I told you to not wear something to school, and you snuck it to school and changed once you got there, and I found out about it " you wouldn't believe what would happen next," Dr. Phil tells Allison. "I can play as tough as you can play." He tells Allison that she doesn't yet appreciate the consequences of her actions like her parents do. "You can't see around corners," he adds.

"Are you game for a little experiment?"

"They are not making you become Amish," Dr. Phil assures Allison regarding her parents request that she tone down her image.

"We feel that a small amount of makeup is OK," Kati says.

"If you choose to throw a tantrum about your makeup," Dr. Phil tells Allison, "then you sacrifice the right to use makeup. You don't have a right to makeup and fashion. That is a privilege that you are afforded." Turning back to Kati and Troy, Dr. Phil says, "But you have to take a stand and stick to it."