Rage Caught on Tape: Isabella

Uncontrollable Fits of Rage?

Camera's installed in Isabella and her husband, Paul's, house capture her shocking and raw fits of rage. 

 

Isabella is on the phone pacing her living room saying, "No, no you don't. You have no [expletive] clue. I'm not going to be transferred to yet another [expletive] department. You just told me two seconds ago that somebody was going to be here by 7:00. It's not my fault if you don't have your [expletive] together. So many people are going to die."

"Why are they going to die?" asks Isabella's young son who witnesses his mother's behavior.  

[AD]"I'm just kidding, Honey," she says, continuing to rant and use foul language.

During another phone call, Isabella's rage is directed at her Internet provider. "I don't give a [expletive] what you've got to do, somebody will be here tonight. I don't care. Get a supervisor on the phone right now. I don't give a [expletive.] Get a supervisor on the phone. Bitch, I don't care what you like or what you don't like," she yells. "You can do that, and then I will make sure that I've got your job." She continues in a raised voice, eventually throwing her phone and breaking it into pieces. 

Dr. Phil lists some of the actions and people who Isabella says cause her to rage, including: stupidity, news, liberal people, Paul and her own mother. "Why are you here?" he asks her.

Referring to the video taped inside her home, she says, "Watching that, I find it more amusing than I find it disturbing. I have a very big complacency toward it, and nobody else does, so clearly it's my issue, and I want to, first of all, care. I have no empathy, and I would like to have that, as well as learn how to manage my anger in a better way."

"You really don't care," Dr. Phil states.

"No," Isabella admits.

Dr. Phil asks Paul why he came to the show.

"I'm here because she needs to get control over her anger issues before it gets her in trouble," he says.

"Why are you staying in this situation, and why are you, as a responsible parent , allowing your child to be subjected to this kind of out-of-control outrageous behavior?" Dr. Phil asks sternly.

[AD]"I'm still with her because I love her," he says.

Dr. Phil comments that some people may feel compelled to call Child Protective Services after watching Isabella's behavior.

"They're words," Isabella says shaking her head. "I'm nothing but the opposite with my son, with the way I treat him."

"It goes beyond words," Dr. Phil points out. Isabella has smashed phones, thrown objects and punched holes in walls. "People get hurt even accidentally."

Dr. Phil asks Isabella, "What gives you the right to talk to another human being that way?"

"I'm pissed off," she replies.

"We all get upset, but what in your mind gives you the permission or the right to talk to someone like you were talking to the person on the phone?" Dr. Phil probes.

"I don't know. I just naturally feel that way, like I can say what I want," she says.

"So, you're a bully," Dr. Phil says.

"Yes," she admits.

Dr. Phil mentions that Isabella's rage-filled behavior began when she was a teen. "You said people in high school called you a slut and called you names, so you beat the crap out of them," he says.

"Eventually, yeah," she says. "That's what has to happen. If you're going to treat somebody that way, then you're going to get it back."

"Now, you get them before they get you," Dr. Phil says.

"Correct," Isabella replies. She notes that she recently had a hysterectomy, and since then, her emotions have been off the charts. "I could absolutely kill someone."

[AD]"Do you have any interest in changing this?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I do," she says. "What I feel like I need first is to feel badly about it. I don't feel bad about it, and I need to feel like, ‘Oh, wow. That's wrong.'"

"You're saying you don't feel bad about it, but you have a brain, and so you can at least logically, rationally, look around and notice that you're the only one behaving that way," Dr. Phil says.

"But it's like I flip a switch. As soon as I get angry, that's it," Isabella explains.

Dr. Phil takes her to task. "You admit that you intentionally say shocking things to get a reaction from people. You use racial terms. You're just as nasty as you can get," he says. "How do you feel about that being your definition, your contribution?"

"I would like to be on national television saying, ‘Wow, that's really crappy,' but then another part of me says, ‘Deal with it,'" she says.

Dr. Phil comments that people who don't like Isabella's attitude will separate themselves from her, but her child has no choice but to be in her presence. "Your child's trapped," he says. "Either you don't feel any empathy [for your child], or you don't get the fact that you are writing on the slate of who that child is and scaring the absolute bejeebers out of that baby."

"He doesn't react," Isabella says of her son.

"He's shell-shocked," Dr. Phil says.

"I don't think he is," Isabella replies.

"Do you think he will model this behavior?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I don't care if he does," she replies.

[AD]Dr. Phil has heard enough. "You don't have the right to say that," he says. "If he does, he's going to get kicked out of school. He's going to be ostracized by the other children and their mothers. He is going to pay a price for your indulgence."

"If people don't mess with him, then that won't happen," she says. Fighting back tears, she says, "Am I harsh, am I nasty, am I rotten? Yeah, entirely. But you know what? If it's been put on me my whole life, that's what the world is going to get back."

"I totally get that, but isn't there a point at which you have to say, ‘You know what? I'm now an adult, and I want to find a way to choose some peace in my life'?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yes," she replies.

"You can't feel good inside when you're raging," Dr. Phil says.

"It does sometimes feel good," she says.

"When I see people showing anger, I always look behind the anger and look for the hurt, the fear or the frustration, because anger is just a cover-up emotion," Dr. Phil says. "You're being angry about being victimized, instead of being strong enough to deflect and still require people to treat you with dignity and respect, but do so in a way that you can feel good about, and it models dignity and respect for your child ... You have the ability to communicate at a much higher level."

"Then why doesn't it work when I do it in that way, and yet it works when I do that?" she asks.

[AD]"The reason that you do that is because you somehow decided that the world is supposed to somehow revolve around you," Dr. Phil says.

Isabella nods in agreement.

"There's a point at which the switch flips and you become a passenger on this rage train, right?" Dr. Phil asks.

Isabella agrees.

"Do you worry about hurting innocent people?" Dr. Phil asks.

"No," she says.

"How do you feel about using the N-word?" Dr. Phil asks.

"It doesn't necessarily, for me, have some kind of deep-seated feeling or meaning, but it's going to make people go, ‘Oh, my God,' and that's what kind of motivates me to do it," she explains.

Gyllian, an African-American Dr. Phil staff member, introduces herself.

"You talked to her on the phone," Dr. Phil says to Isabella. "How did you find her?"

"Great," she says.

Addressing Gyllian, Dr. Phil says, "She used the N-word a fair amount in talking to you. How did you feel about that?"

"It hurts every time I hear that word, and to hear someone use it so freely, and use it so vindictively and use it to incite anger in people, it was very hard to remain professional," she says.

[AD]"How do you feel about that?" Dr. Phil asks Isabella.

"I have no doubt that it hurt," she says. "I know it's going to tick people off. That's where the motivation comes from, not because I care whether they're black or green."

 

"But you weren't wanting to tick her off," Dr. Phil points out.

Isabella explains that the producers asked her what language she uses most often. "I never said you are this, this and this," she says.

Dr. Phil offers to provide Isabella with rage-management tools, and she agrees to participate.

Dr. Lawlis says to Isabella, "I can help you retrain your behavior and find other more suitable and more productive solutions."

[AD]"You don't have to become a wimp. It's not about that," Dr. Phil says.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Isabella admits.

Dr. Phil points out that currently she's at one end of the spectrum and being a wimp is at the other end, but she can find somewhere in the middle to feel comfortable.