Relationship Rescue Retreat: Finale: Vinnie and Donna

Relationship Rescue Retreat: Finale: Vinnie and Donna
In the dramatic conclusion, six couples who were on the verge of divorce return for an update.
Since the retreat, things have been changing by the hour with Vinnie and Donna. Three weeks after their last appearance on the show, they recorded these video diaries:

Vinnie: Things were a little bit better for a few days, but then just today, I was in class and I wound up with seven missed calls, and I got a rash of crap and accusations and I told her we can't live this way.

Donna: If anybody cheats on me they're going to know about it, for however long it takes for him to know about it. And is it working for me? Maybe not, but this is the way that I am, and I'm going to continue to be that way.

Dr. Phil asks them where they are now.

"The same place," says Donna. She explains that they are still trying to figure out what to do about their relationship, and although she says in the video diary that she won't change who she is, she's not willing to leave Vinnie either. "I invested five years in marriage with him and I don't want to let it go that easy," she says.
Dr. Phil sits on the stage in front of Donna and Vinnie. "What do you want me to say? You don't like anything I've said so far. You said all I did was tell you to get a divorce," he says.

"Right," agrees Donna.

Dr. Phil points out that he's spent more time working with her than anyone else in the retreat. "I've talked to you about forgiveness; I've talked with you about behaving your way out of it; I've talked to you about the steps that you need to go through to get closure on it; I've taken you through every possible alternative to go down that road ... but you say all I've done is tell you to get a divorce."

"It was on there a couple of times," says Donna, who thinks Dr. Phil told her a lot of negative things.

"Your behavior is negative," explains Dr. Phil.
"And you've told us that you have no intentions of letting it go, right?" Dr. Phil asks Donna. "You said, 'If somebody cheats on me, they're going to pay.'"

"Right. And that's what I've been making him do," says Donna. "I'm not afraid to say it. Yeah, that's what I'm making him do."

"OK, but if that's what you want to do, if that's your agenda, aren't I just talking to myself?" Dr. Phil asks.

"No, because I've been thinking about some of the things that happened while we were here," says Donna.

Dr. Phil points out that Donna is contradicting herself, and gets to the point. "The truth is, if you guys will agree to not do this in front of your daughter, and y'all want to just keep pummeling each other ... I mean, maybe you get off on that in some way." Dr. Phil points out that some of the other couples have talked about the changes they've noticed in their kids since they've stopped fighting. "You resent me telling you that it's affecting your daughter," he says.

"My daughter's fine," says Donna. "And the doctor told me that ... She doesn't have any kind of disorders due to my fighting."
Dr. Phil debates the validity of that statement, and Donna argues that every one of the couples said they fight in front of their kids.

Dr. Phil tells her, "It is not OK. I've been doing this for 30 years, Donna. She is not fine if she is having to live with this every day. I want you to be healthy. I don't want you to continue this toxic marriage ... You need to work on this responsibly, and if you're not going to do that, then you owe it to yourselves to get apart from each other. This is not about the affair. That's just your current topic. It gave you the moral high ground.""You think I'm being hard on you, but I really like you. You have a great sense of humor," Dr. Phil tells Donna. "I have been hard on you, I've been hard on everybody here."

"I got a little extra though, let's admit it," says Donna. "I did, I got some extra."

Dr. Phil puts his head down in exhaustion. "Isn't it the truth that you raise enough hell that people finally just say, 'OK, fine. I won't go play baseball, I won't drive a Corvette, I won't turn my cell phone off ...' That's what you want, right?"

"That would be good, if he would do that, that would help," says Donna, and the audience laughs.

"But it's not going to get you happy, and I want you happy whether it's with him or whether it's not. You have a child to take care of, and I want her mother to be happy. I want her to come home and know it's just going to be delightful every day," says Dr. Phil.

Donna argues that Vinnie has to make some changes too. She explains that she made him a list of eight things and he didn't do anything on it.

"You made a list?" Dr. Phil questions, and the audience groans.
"Did you go over it with him?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yeah," says Donna. "I numbered them."

"How long was the list?"

"It was only eight things."

"Like, 'Do everything I want you to, say everything I want you to say, be where I can watch you 24/7, tell everybody I'm wonderful' ... Am I getting it pretty close?" asks Dr. Phil.

"Sort of," agrees Donna, and the audience laughs.

"You just say what you're thinking and that's such a great quality, to say what you're thinking," Dr. Phil tells her, "but what you need to do is change what you're thinking." Dr. Phil offers them more help with a counselor in their hometown. "I want you to come back and talk to me, and you can bring what's-his-name or not," he jokes, pointing to Vinnie.
Later in the show, Dr. Phil turns back to Donna. "And you said you wanted me to have a bag of tricks that would just fix everything for you. Well, actually, I have a bag of tricks. I put it under your chair."

Dr. Phil reaches under Donna's chair and pulls out a bag. "This is my bag of tricks," he says, pulling out a mirror and holding it up to Donna's face. Everybody laughs and applauds, including Donna.

"There's your trick," he tells her.