Relationship Rescue Retreat: Getting to the Truth: Gelsy

Relationship Rescue Retreat: Getting to the Truth: Gelsy
Dr. Phil continues his intense workshop with six couples on the verge of divorce.

Everyone is paired with a same-sex "buddy," who is also their roommate for the night. Dr. Phil asks what they each want to gain from the Relationship Rescue Retreat. Next, they finish this sentence: "What I do when I'm afraid ..."


Gelsy tells her buddy, Donna, "What I do when I'm afraid ... I, oh my God, I am ... I try to hide it. I'm afraid of him leaving me one day with the four kids." Donna admits, "I try to do something to make it easier to go, so I pack a little bag and hide it so I can run away."


"Gelsy, stand up," says Dr. Phil. "Are you being honest?"


"Yes," she says.


"You haven't had much to say," Dr. Phil says.


"No, I, uh, froze up. I guess I just, I have so much to say and so much in my head that when it comes down to it coming out verbally, I freeze," she explains.


"Well, how about I just take one of these blue cards and write out to your kids, 'Sorry Mom and Dad didn't get very far; she just froze up.' How would that be?"


"I wouldn't want that," says Gelsy.

"Did you tell her that you hide behind perfection?" Dr. Phil asks Gelsy.


"No, I didn't mention that part," she replies.


"Did you tell her that you're so consumed with it that you won't let your kids play with their toys because you can't tolerate the mess?"


"I didn't mention that," she says.


"But you like to be perfect, right? That's why you've been sitting here. You've been thinking, 'What's the perfect thing to say? What's exactly the right thing that I can say?'"


Gelsy nods in agreement.


"What happens to that commitment to perfection when you're yelling at Rene in front of the kids?" Dr. Phil asks.


"You're absolutely right," agrees Gelsy. "At that point I can't control myself."

"So no perfection then," says Dr. Phil. "You just want to 'smash his head against a wall.' Isn't that what you said? The father of your children, you want to smash his head against the wall. She didn't tell you that, did she?" he asks Donna.


"No, she didn't," says Donna.


"Are you going to be Miss Perfect or are you going to get in here with the unwashed masses and get your hands dirty like everybody else?" Dr. Phil asks Gelsy.


"I want to get my hands dirty," she says.


"Yeah, we'll see," Dr. Phil warns.