Relationship Rescue Retreat: Mike and Kimberly

Relationship Rescue Retreat: Mike and Kimberly
Dr. Phil's intense workshop with six couples on the verge of divorce.
Mike and Kimberly's relationship started as an affair while Mike was still married to his first wife. They've been married for two and a half years and have two children together. Mike also has two children from his first marriage.


One of their biggest issues is trust. "It's always in the back of my mind that he cheated on his first wife with me," says Kimberly, "and I wonder if he's going to do that to me." Kimberly resents that Mike took a job in Las Vegas, so he's gone all week while she stays home with their two kids, one of whom has a severe respiratory illness. "I am alone in dealing with Drew's sickness," she says.


"We just can't communicate," says Mike, who lost some trust with Kimberly when she went off birth control and didn't tell him, resulting in their second son.

Kimberly admits that her intention in coming to this retreat was to "fix" Mike, but now she knows that won't work.


"What are you afraid of?" Dr. Phil asks an emotional Kimberly.


"Looking at my part," she says. "Knowing that I'm responsible. It's hard. It's hard to admit that I haven't done everything right. And that I've been a big part in this."


Dr. Phil asks her what she does when she's angry. She says that when she feels alone and isn't getting any help, she tends to yell and walk away.


"Do you do it in front of the kids?" Dr. Phil asks.


"I try really, really hard to not do it in front of the kids and that's one thing that, if the boys are around, I will try and walk away," she says.


"Now answer my question," implores Dr. Phil. "You yell at the top of your lungs in front of the kids. True or false?" he asks.


"True," admits Kimberly.

Dr. Phil explains that she needs to be honest and up front if she wants to change. He tells her what he thinks about fighting in front of the kids: "They pick up the tab for it. They pay the price because you were so self-indulgent that you've got to have your fix of anger and so you do whether the kids are there or not."


Dr. Phil tells Mike to stand, but continues addressing Kimberly. "You call him at work, you yell and scream, and then you hang up. Now, you're an intelligent woman. You need to tell me how you figure that makes sense?"


"I get fed up, and I get tired, and I get frustrated, and I just lash out," says Kimberly.


"And you lash out as well," Dr. Phil asks Mike, who agrees. When Mike is vague, Dr. Phil pushes, "The truth is that you get mad at her and you say, 'You're a bitch, I hate you, f*** you.' You say everything you can to inflict pain on her. True?"


"I do say those things," admits Mike.

"When were you going to get around to telling me that?" asks Dr. Phil. "If we're going to get real, we need to deal with what's going on. At this point, what have you got to lose? Isn't your relationship just absolutely in the ditch?"


Mike and Kimberly agree.


"What the hell have you got to lose by being honest about it? You don't want to come in here and fix some of the issues, do you?"


"No," they respond.


"The only difference between you and 3- or 4-year-old children throwing a tantrum is your height," says Dr. Phil.