Relationship Rescue Retreat: Parental Legacy: Rene and Gelsy

Relationship Rescue Retreat: Parental Legacy: Rene and Gelsy
Dr. Phil continues his intense workshop with six couples on the verge of divorce.
During the retreat, Gelsy shares what she learned about her childhood from the parental legacy exercise "I knew hostility. I knew anger. I knew pain. I knew I had to cause pain in order to see results," says Gelsy.

Dr. Phil tells her that she can decide to choose to behave differently. He asks Rene to stand up. "What can you do to help her define this relationship at a different level?" he asks.

"I can stop aggravating her to a certain point where she gets regressive. And be more understanding and more loving toward her," says Rene.

Dr. Phil relates that when Rene gets angry, yells and screams, "that's like a not very good old friend to you, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah," agrees Gelsy.
"Tell me what you discovered talking about your mother and father," Dr. Phil asks Rene.

"My parents always fought a lot," says Rene. "Things I saw as a kid really affected me and I definitely bring it to the marriage. The hostility, anger, fighting ..."

"Can you make a choice?" Dr. Phil asks him.

"Of course," says Rene.

"Because you haven't made it before," observes Dr. Phil. "There comes a point where we say, 'We grew up with what we grew up with, but we're the moms and dads now. And as adults we get to decide.' And it truly is a life decision. You can make that decision to stop." He asks Rene, "You're real smooth with the neighbors, aren't you? You're just Mr. Nice Guy."

"Everybody likes a good neighbor," explains Rene.

"It starts at home. Give it to her," Dr. Phil advises. "Make the life decision that says, 'I'm not going to live that anymore. I'm a better man than that. I'm a better woman that that. And I know that my children deserve better than that.'"