Relationship Rescue Retreat: Self-Defeating Games: DrPhil.com Exclusive
Dr. Phil continues his intense workshop with six couples on the verge of divorce.

After the show, Dr. Phil returns to the stage to speak some more with his guests and audience.


He asks Rene, "Did anything I said to you today make any sense to you, and if so what and why?"


"Yes it did," says Rene. "I guess I forgot a lot of little things, the little things that count. And I see my wife and I saw myself there on the big screen TV and I kind of looked pretty bad."


"That's why I said the camera doesn't lie," says Dr. Phil. "What I'm saying to you is your attitude is offensive, it would be offensive to any woman, it would be offensive to any person, and it absolutely guarantees failure for what you're trying to achieve."


Dr. Phil asks Rene if he wrote down the list of things Gelsy said that could make their relationship a 10. "I can get you a copy," Dr. Phil tells him. "I'm serious, because those things can become a to-do list Rene. And one of the first things she said is, 'Stop insulting me.'"

Dr. Phil explains that sometimes people practice what he calls "leveling" in a relationship. "Leveling is where you want to be kind of on the same level with someone else, and if you have feelings of inferiority, you're going to do one of two things. You're either going to puff yourself up with ego, so that you have this false sense of superiority and believe yourself to now be above your partner, or you're going to shoot them down through criticism, to the point at which they're just nothing, and therefore by contrast you feel superior. That's called leveling ... Or you can meet your partner on that ground and say, 'This is not a competition. We are equal in love and commitment and we're pulling in the same direction for our children.'"


Dr. Phil ends with, "And I always think about it " I don't know what your religious beliefs are " but I tell you, when the day comes that I stand before the Lord, if he looks at me and says, 'Phil, well done, my son,' it won't be because of the money I make."