Relationship Surprises: Meeka

Just Another Teen Fad?

"You're having a really painful response to this, true?" Dr. Phil asks her.

[AD]"Yeah, I am," Meeka says. "I'm really believing that she's confused and that she's just following the crowd. She's not being true to herself but is just trying to fit in, and I have a lot of bad feelings about it. She wasn't really talkative about it. She kind of had an attitude about it at first, like ‘It is what it is.' We went to counseling. The counselor talked to her for 10 minutes and said, ‘Oh, I think your daughter is a bisexual,' and I just have a problem with that. She doesn't know my daughter. She doesn't know anything about her. And I don't know that you can really say that somebody is that in 10 minutes of speaking to them. She's smart enough to know what to say to a counselor because she knew where we were going and what we were going for. So my pain just comes behind all the baggage that she has to carry, and even saying that I was going to do this show, she doesn't want to do it; she doesn't want any part of it. She's like, ‘Oh, I don't have a problem now.' Well, what is the real problem? And that's what I need to answer for."

 

"What I'm really concerned about is that let's assume that it is true," Dr. Phil says. "You're pushing her away, you're relating to her in disgust, and your telling her that you want to pull away from her and be apart from her is not a good place to be. You recognize that, right?"

"I totally recognize that. That's why I wanted to go to counseling, but that didn't help," she says.

[AD]"Well, it may not have helped by your definition of what you call help, which is to tell her that this isn't true " and again, I'm not saying it is or it isn't because I don't know " but here's what I do know: Kids who are gay tend to have a four times higher rate of suicide than the general population," he says. "Kids who are gay and alienated, rejected by their family have a nine times higher rate of suicide than the general population. You add to that a friend who has already modeled that behavior of making an attempted suicide, and I take that very, very seriously. And rather than focusing on what you want the truth to be, you need to try to find out what the truth is and then really focus on educating yourself about it in the interim."

 

Dr. Phil tells Meeka she shouldn't feel guilty, and Denise gives her advice.

Jane says Meeka's story is the perfect example of why a lot of gay people don't come out. "I have compassion for this mom but what I'm hearing " and I hate to be rude " [is] homophobia," she says.

Meeka disagrees. "I don't have a phobia. I'll openly admit that. This is my child," she says.

[AD]Dr. Phil makes it clear that Meeka's 16-year-old daughter shouldn't be sexually active with anybody yet, no matter what her sexuality is. He also recommends that Meeka be aware of her reactions. "What I don't want is you said you've kicked her out of the house, you've responded with disgust and felt like vomiting when you heard this. I understand the anxiety of being a parent but at no time do you want to cut off the lines of communication here. If this is just experimentation, if this is just kind of conforming to what she thinks the cool kids are doing right now, that will pass. If it is not, it will not pass." Dr. Phil offers Meeka some information to educate herself with to eliminate some of the myths "so you can at least go into this with an informed base of understanding."

"That would be great," Meeka says.