Afraid of the Altar
"Do you have any intention of marrying [Rick?]" Dr. Phil asks Kelly.
"I told him when I was 40. I'm not 40 yet, so it's not me breaking the deal; it's him," she replies.
"Do you have any desire whatsoever to get married?" Dr. Phil presses.
"Kind of," she replies.
"That's a pretty grim outlook," Dr. Phil says when the videotape ends.
"It's logical. It's based on statistics," she replies.
"If you don't want to get married, why do you keep getting engaged?"
[AD]Kelly shrugs. "I like being with somebody," she answers.
Dr. Phil reminds her that she's been engaged five times. "If you don't want to get married, why do you keep doing that?" he asks.
"They're all nervous and twitchy-faced [when they propose]. How could you say no at that moment?" she asks with a laugh. "That would be cruel."
"What's cruel is leading some guy on, making him think you're eventually going to marry him, and you don't," Dr. Phil counters.
Dr. Phil turns to Rick. "Why are you putting yourself through this?" he asks.
"Because I love her to death," he replies.
"She wants you to change your name to marry her," Dr. Phil points out.
"It's a name. It's just a name," Rick responds.
"So, you would change your name?" Dr. Phil asks.
Kelly reveals one of the major reasons that she's afraid to tie the knot. "My parents have been married " between the two of them " seven times. My friends have been married and divorced," she tells Dr. Phil. "I started buying cheap wedding gifts because I was getting tired of it. I'd spend a couple hundred dollars, and they were done in a year."
"The truth is, there is a disturbingly high divorce rate in America. Some people quote 50 percent; it's really in the mid-30s," Dr. Phil explains. "You have to ask yourself, at what point are you willing to say, â€˜Enough is enough'?"
[AD]"People get complacent. They take each other for granted, and then they start to resent each other," Kelly says. "You lose your independence. You lose who you are. You get wrapped up in the other person, and you stop being an individual."
Dr. Phil says Kelly is giving her power away. "You don't have confidence in your ability to maintain your individuality, so your fear is about you and not about him," Dr. Phil observes.
"To me, the institution of marriage is so barbaric," she replies. "Lots of people live common-law."
Dr. Phil issues a warning to Rick: "I don't think you should marry a woman who doesn't want to marry you," he says. "If she really doesn't want to marry you, you need to decide you're either OK to just live like you are or move on."
"It does bother me to the point that I'm going to walk away," Rick admits.
"If I could get that in writing, I'd marry him," Kelly declares.
Dr. Phil whips out a pen and a blue card and hands them to Rick. "You said if you could get that in writing, you'd marry him," Dr. Phil teases Kelly. He mentions that he and Robin have been married for 34 years, and he wakes up every day and asks his better half how he can enrich her life.
Robin agrees. "I go to bed every night, and I know that I am loved by this man," she says proudly.
[AD]Dr. Phil turns back to Kelly. "What do you think about what you're holding in your hand?" he asks, indicating Rick's written note.
"If this is a guarantee " " she begins.
"That is a guarantee," Rick chimes in.
"Then I'll do it," she says, looking nervous.
Dr. Phil has a surprise for her. David's Bridal has offered to give Kelly a wedding dress if she decides to marry her betrothed.
"I promise I won't send it to Goodwill," she says with a laugh.