Self-Defeating Games: Lynn and Albert

Lynn and Albert
The personality games they play are hurting their relationship.
Lynn has to have the last word, and she recognizes that it's alienating the people closest to her.


"I've watched her humiliate people," says her husband, Albert, who has thought about leaving.


They are both concerned about how her yelling will affect their baby.

"You can't change what you don't acknowledge," says Dr. Phil. "Based on results, you have a problem."


He asks, "What are you afraid you're going to lose if you don't get the last word or admit that you're wrong? ... You need to have the last word with yourself."

When Lynn was 6 years old, she spilled sugar on the counter, she says, and her father took her by the back of her neck and rubbed her nose in the sugar. "That's when I decided that's it not OK to be wrong," she says.


"You've given your power away to that moment," says Dr. Phil. "It's dominating your personality to the point that you are miserable from having to be right all the time. Isn't it tiresome?"

"What could you win if you let him become a partner?" Dr. Phil asks Lynn.


"We'd have a better relationship, and our son would learn how to have a healthy relationship in his life," she answers.


"Nobody's rubbing your face in the sugar this time," Dr. Phill adds. "You've got to play through the fear."