'Should we get married?'
Six months after meeting through an online dating service, Kevin and Leslie got engaged. They postponed the wedding because Leslie felt sick when she was looking for her dress.
"I have a case of cold feet because I don't have the pitter-patter feelings that you normally do in a relationship," says Leslie, who has been divorced. "Kevin wants to be told that I love him, to be hugged, to be kissed, and I see that as a sign of weakness."
"You're not even almost
ready to get married again, but you can be," Dr. Phil tells Leslie.
"The fact that you're not feeling these things for him may not have
anything to do with him. You're withholding those feelings to protect
yourself. You have to get emotional closure on where you've been before
you can go on."
has two daughters from a previous marriage. His fiancee Julie says she
feels insignificant whenever they're around. "I think she feels they
are a threat to our relationship, and they're not," says Mike.
Julie sees it differently. "The minute those girls are around, I do not exist."
no reality, only perception," Dr. Phil tells Mike. "Her perception is
that she's not around when they are. If you don't fix that perception,
you're doomed before you start. You've got to negotiate this now."
If, however, Mike is not prepared to show Julie that she's a priority,
Dr. Phil says he owes it to her to tell her. "Say, 'Julie, I only have
enough room in my life for two women, and those are my daughters. I'm
sorry I just don't have what you're looking for.'"
For Julie, the only thing worse than hearing that today, says Dr. Phil, is hearing that tomorrow.
Both David and Shelley have been married twice before, and have been
engaged for eight months. Shelley feels David is holding back from
Dr. Phil tells Shelley, "You should not settle for less than 100
percent of the man you love. He tells David: "You know you have some
serious work to do because I think you know Shelly's a keeper."