Teens Having Babies: Amber

Teens Having Babies: Amber

"I just recently found out I'm pregnant with my second child, and I have a daughter who's almost a year old," says 19-year-old Amber. "I'm really scared I'm never going to be able to take care of

the second child, get a job that makes enough money, get on my feet."

 

"The reality check for Amber should have been when she got pregnant with her first child," says Connie, Amber's mother. She felt disappointed when she learned of her daughter's second pregnancy. "I do not believe Amber is a responsible person. She doesn't really live in reality. She thinks that the world owes her and that she's entitled."

 

Amber and Troy, the baby's father, were good friends and then started dating. "I like that he had a child, and he was really good with [my daughter] Zoe. I had lost my job, so I just decided to move in with him and his mom," she says. "Right now, Troy doesn't have a job, so he's not able to financially provide for his daughter, or me being pregnant, so I'm just waiting for Troy to step up and start helping."

 

"This was a deliberate act. The first thing I thought when I heard she was pregnant is Fatal Attraction. I believed that she would do anything in her power to trap my son," says Margie, Troy's mom.

 

"When she said she was pregnant, I was shocked and scared. I didn't know what to believe," says Troy. "Not only does my mom not think that Amber's fit to be a parent, but she doesn't think that she can even handle herself ... My mom would say, ‘What? Is she psycho or something?'" He says that he has to take care of Zoe and change her diapers.

 

"Zoe slept on the floor, slept in the car seat. Two and three days go by without giving Zoe a bath, and yet, Amber was in the shower three times a day. You don't do that to your kids," Margie says. "I wouldn't want her to have custody of my grandchild. I would much rather have the baby stay with me." 

 

Amber says she's terrified to raise two kids on her own. "I think Troy's mom should let him run his own life when it comes to me. We are still together, and I am, in fact, having his child," she says.

 

In his studio, Dr. Phil asks Amber, "Did you get pregnant on purpose?"

 

"No. Troy knew from the beginning that I wasn't on any kind of birth control," she says.

"If you were having sex not on birth control, how were you not trying to get pregnant?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I didn't think it could happen," she says.

Dr. Phil doesn't buy it. "I know you're young, but if you're having sex without protection, you can get pregnant," he says to her.

"I wasn't really thinking about it," she says.

Reminding Amber that she already has another child, Dr. Phil says, "I would think you would use birth control pills, IUD, condoms and stand in separate rooms if necessary." He points out that between her and Troy, they have three children.

Dr. Phil addresses Margie, who's sitting in the audience. "You think that she did this to trap your son," he says.

"I do," she agrees.

"Where were they living when this happened?" he asks.

"They were living at my house. He moved her in, basically, without my permission," Margie says.

Dr. Phil is outraged. "He snuck her into the house?" he asks.

"I voiced my opinion to him," she says.

"They got pregnant in your house on your watch," Dr. Phil points out. "I really don't care whether this was a trick, or a trap, or whatever. He's the father. He owns this situation, like it or not." To Troy, he says, "You are pregnant, and I don't care whether you two families like each other or not " I do care. I wish you did " but the fact that you don't, does not change the responsibilities that adults have when they're bringing children into this world. You need to work something out." Turning to Amber, he says, "I don't know whether you did this on purpose or not. I suspect you may have. I don't know. I can't say it, but I've got this bell going off in my head."

Dr. Phil asks Troy and Amber how long they dated before moving in together.

 

"Like, a week," Amber says. "We'd known each other for a while."

Dr. Phil points out that they both knew they were having unprotected sex. "I'm looking for a hero," he says. "I don't know if you should place this child for adoption or not; that is your decision. I think you are ill-equipped to raise a child. I think you are ill-equipped to form any kind of union here th

at's going to be positive." He asks Amber if she is going to keep the child.

"I don't know yet," she replies.

Troy says that he wants to keep the child.

"That may be your solution," Dr. Phil tells Amber. "I think you need to sit down and have some serious conversations with some informed resources about the mental, emotional, physical, financial, social implications of making this decision." He tells her he will provide help for her.

Amber and Troy agree to receive Dr. Phil's help.

 

"Let's give this child some careful, careful consideration with some skilled professionals in family and adoption services to see what the options are," Dr. Phil tells them.