Natalie also calls frequently and drops by unexpectedly. One of the things that bothers Natasha the most is that grandmother will get into name-calling if you don't agree with her. "You're not sure what you're going to get called what day," says Natasha. "That's not how grandmas are supposed to treat their grandchildren. She wants the best for us, but she goes about it the wrong way."
"Most of the advice I am giving her is trying just to get her through life," says Natalie, who justifies the birth control advice with not wanting Natasha to be burdened with too many children.
Natasha says it's her decision and it hurts her when she implies that her birth control makes her fat. "She also said that if I gain anymore weight, my husband could possibly go out and find someone that is skinnier than me," says Natasha.
"I said what my mother said to me," says Natalie. "Keep yourself looking good and then your husband won't ..."
"My husband thinks I look great," says Natasha, and the audience applauds.
"What would be wrong with backing up some and giving her some space in a number of ways?" Dr. Phil asks Natalie. "You're not required to support her, you're not required to provide money. There's an old saying: 'Good fences make good neighbors.' Maybe there needs to be a pretty good fence line here."
Dr. Phil explains to them that they need to redefine their relationship and come up with some simple rules. "How would it be if just the next half a dozen times you got together, you had some rules where you did not discuss certain topics that are off limits. You didn't discuss bills, you don't give advice, you don't talk about family, you just relate to each other."
"I would love that," says Natasha.
"And you can do that if you want to," says Dr. Phil, "and if you do that's your choice and you'll live with the consequences of doing that. But the truth is you're more likely to say that in anger and then resume your old behavior like you've done in the past."
Dr. Phil tells them to decompress their situation for a while, then see if they can redefine their relationship with some boundaries.