The Divorce Experiment: Greg and Amy Reunited

Reunited

It's been over a week since Greg and Amy have seen or spoken with one another. They meet Dr. Phil and greet each other with a hug.

"How are you doing?" Dr. Phil asks Greg.

Greg laughs and hesitates.

"We've been pretty tough on you," observes Dr. Phil.

"Yeah, you can say you've been pretty tough," he agrees.

"Did you deserve it?"

"Absolutely," Greg says, looking at his wife.

"Now, at this point, what is your greatest fear?" asks Dr. Phil.

"Losing my wife," he says, touching her arm.

"You said that you have a really hard-core center and that for you, to get to the soft side is very difficult because you equate that with being weak?" asks Dr. Phil.

"No, I don't see that at all," says Greg.

"Actually, that is what you said," says Dr. Phil.

"I don't think so," argues Greg. "A lot of what's happened in my life has case hardened me. Like tempered steel, you know, it takes a beating. Dip it in cold water, it gets harder."

"So you've taken a few beatings along the way."

"Taken a lot of beatings along the way. Had to give a few too," says Greg.

"And so you just steel yourself against that so it doesn't hurt," says Dr. Phil.

"You tell me. I don't know what the hell I'm doing," he says.

Dr. Phil asks Amy, "Do you think he has a tender side?"

"I believe he still has good in him," says Amy. "But like he's saying, after being hardened for so long, it will make you tough. I think it's what he's doing to me. He's making me feel hard toward him. I have a tender side. I'm very loving and I care about him, but there's a part of me that doesn't want to go there now because he's put me through so much stuff."

"You talk about being the man of the house. Have you ever thought that maybe you need to expand that definition?" Dr. Phil asks Greg. "That it's not just about stomping around like some kind of bad-ass, but instead providing for your wife and your daughter, mentally, emotionally. Do you fear that by being so demeaning to your wife, that you're teaching your daughter that that's how she supposed to go into the world?"

"Well, it's not that I don't know it's happening. I don't know what to do about it," says Greg. "It's not that I don't know what needs to be done, or " some of the domestic chores, it's not that I don't know how to do them. I've excelled at everything you've put me through. That's not the problem. It's doing it. It's getting off my lazy ass and doing it."

Dr. Phil reminds Greg of his chauvinistic comments. "Have you ever wondered, if you're so smart, how come your marriage is in such a bad spot?"

 

Greg doesn't answer.