The Ex Factor: Louise and Mike

"I want to get back together with Louise," Mike says of his ex-girlfriend. He and Louise have a 10-month-old son together. 

"There are very good reasons why Mike and I shouldn't be together," Louise says. "I have taken restraining orders out against Mike. [He] has thrown chairs at me. [He] has choked me twice. Mike has slammed me up against the wall and slapped me for trying to leave him."

Mike admits, "I have been known to throw things. I have threatened her quite a few times. I've probably pushed Louise five to 10 times. I have called Louise a slut and a loser."

"When I've broken up with Mike, he will usually say mean things about [our] son," Louise says. "He didn't care about him because he wasn't his. He's threatened to throw him over a fence before. One night, Mike was really mad. He dragged me out of the car and left me in the middle of nowhere. At that time, I was two months pregnant. Mike can be really cruel. My dad and I got into a fight right before he passed away, and Mike blames me for my father's
death. That hurts," she says, beginning to cry. "When I fight with Mike, he retaliates by stealing my dad's ashes. Mike has stolen my dad's ashes twice."

"When I get very angry, I have no recall what I said," Mike explains. "I took Louise's father's ashes because she was saying some really hurtful things to me. I basically did it to piss her off."

"In order to get my dad's ashes back, I've had to tell Mike that I want him back and that I love him," Louise says.

"Louise does tell me she loves me," Mike says. "Louise and I send over 50 text messages to each other a day."

"We got into a fight yesterday, and he messaged me and said, ‘You're a ******* bitch,'" Louise says.

"Louise and I had a huge fight at the mall. She started yelling at me in front of people," Mike explains.

"Mike threatened that he was going to break my neck," she says.

"That bitch called the cops on me, and later on that night the police arrested me and charged me for assault," Mike says.

"I have moved and not told Mike where I live because he threatens me," Louis says. "He's abusive, violent. I just don't want him anywhere in my home."

Mike has a question for Dr. Phil. "Can you help me get back together with my ex-girlfriend, Louise?" he asks.

Mike tells Dr. Phil, "I do love her. I will admit, yes, I definitely have a temper."

Dr. Phil asks Louise, "Do you have a legitimate complaint here? Do you want out of this relationship?"

"I'm kind of torn [over] the decision," Louise says. "At times, yes, I feel like, yes, I want out, and it's not going to ever change, and it's not going to get better, but at times, I do still have a connection to him, obviously, or else he'd be gone, right? Like, I'm confused."

"Me too," Dr. Phil says. "You said you wanted out of this relationship because he was abusive."

"Yes," she says.

Dr. Phil tells Mike, "I've got a list. You choked her while she was holding your son, Jessy."

"I grabbed her by the throat, but I didn't actually squeeze," he says.

"Yes, he did," Louise says.

"OK, slammed her against a brick wall, slapped her and sent her to the hospital," Dr. Phil says, reading from his notes.

"I've never sent her to the hospital," he says.

"Yeah, I went to the hospital that night for stomach pain after that fight," Louise says.

"That wasn't anything that I physically did to you," Mike argues.

Mike clarifies what he did that night. "I grabbed her and pinned her against a brick wall, but that wasn't the day I slapped her though," he says. 

An argument ensues over when and how often Louise was slapped.


Dr. Phil continues. "Did you kick her out of the car at 1:00 in the morning when she was pregnant?"

"Yes, I did do that," he says.

"Did you threaten to beat the **** out of her sister and her friends, burn her mom's house down and throw the baby over the fence?"

"I've never said I was going to throw the baby over the fence," he says.

"Yes, you did," Louise says. "That same [night] that I went to the hospital, you did. He was in his car seat, and you said if I didn't let go, you were going to throw him over the fence where the bikes were."

"Now, you said that you get so angry that you don't remember what you say," Dr. Phil reminds Mike.

"I remember most of it, but there are things, bits and pieces, where I ramble on so fast and say so many things that I don't remember everything that's said," Mike explains.

"Have you threatened to break her neck?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I believe I have, yes," he says.


"Now, tell me about stealing her father's ashes," Dr. Phil says. "That's like going to a cemetery, digging up a body and stealing it. What was your purpose? What was your desired result?"

"Just to piss her off," Mike says.

"That'll do it," Dr. Phil retorts. He asks Louise, "You've gotten two restraining orders against him?"

"Yeah," she says. 

"He calls you a loser and a slut?"


"OK, now, can we go over the confusion part?" Dr. Phil asks. He tells Louise to think about her answer, and says he'll come back to that question.