The Nanny Affair: the story

The Nanny Affair: the story

"My husband had an affair with our children's nanny," says Amy. "When I first found out about Brandon's infidelity, I was hysterical. I was devastated. She was like our daughter. She was only 18 years old. Knowing that it went on under my roof, while I was here healing from just having a baby, was too much for me to even handle. I said, ‘You get every single thing out of that house, and you get out.'"

 

Brandon says his affair with the nanny started when they would flirt with each other. "Our nanny was very pretty at the time. She was always saying, ‘Oh, you're so hot,' and building me up and building me up, and it just

became really easy to flirt with her," he reveals. "She smacked me on my butt and made several passes at me. I'm an older guy. I've got a receding hairline going. She had tried telling me that it was all my doing, that I pushed myself on her, but how hard is it to force somebody to unzip my pants while I'm trying to walk down the hallway ... I can't force somebody to do that."

 

Amy says that the nanny doesn't agree with Brandon's account of the incident. "Her point of view is that it was rape, that he would give her some type of narcotic that would make her not remember," she says. 

Heidi, Amy's best friend, was living with Brandon and Amy when the affair occurred. "He's got h

is kids in the house, his wife in the house, his wife's best friend in the house, and he's ******* the nanny!" she says. "There are so many nannies that have come and gone. Like, they'll be there for two or three days, and then all of a sudden, they don't want to work there anymore because of Brandon." She says Brandon slept with another nanny who wrote Amy an e-mail describing the whole seduction. 

 

"One of our favorite nannies just up and left one day. I called her. She said, ‘Brandon asked me to give him a **** ***,' and I was shocked," Amy says. "Other nannies did all tell me separately that Brandon would send them dirty text messages. My own husband doesn't even talk to me dirty. I didn't believe it."

 

Brandon maintains that he only had one affair.

 

Because of their constant fighting, Amy took legal action. "Brandon's called me a bitch, ****, a whore,

stupid, worthless, ugly, fat," she shares. She says that he also punched holes in the walls. In March, she filed a restraining order against Brandon because she says she was scared for her life. "He told me he was going to kill me."

 

Heidi recalls, "Brandon told me that if Amy doesn't shape up, she is going to be put into a concrete block, and no one would ever find her."

Brandon filed for divorce, but five months into their proceedings, Brandon told Amy he was

a changed man, and he worked his way back into her life. Now, Amy says she's having second thoughts about calling it quits. "Brandon has changed for the better," she says. "There was a time where I was extremely happy, beyond happy to divorce Brandon, and now, I am considering he might be the one in a billion people who actually changes ... I do believe that Brandon and I are meant to be together."

 

Amy's parents worry about her decision to take Brandon back. "Amy says that he has changed. I find that hard to believe," says Cyndie, Amy's mom.

 

Mont, Amy's dad, adds, "Amy said that Brandon's undergone counseling, but I really don't know what that means."

 

Heidi stopped speaking with Amy when she renewed her relationship with Brandon. "If she has a shred of self-dignity, then she will not take him back. I cannot believe I'm losing a best friend over the devil incarnate," Heidi shares. "I'm heartbroken." 

 

Brandon maintains that he's a different person. "I have continually been seeking help from a very good doctor who has allowed me to be a better listener and a better communicator," he explains.

Dr. Phil makes clear that Amy and Brandon are not violating any court orders by being on the show. He asks Brandon, "Why did you want to be here?"

 

"When we split up, I did a lot of soul searching for myself," he says. He moved into his father's barn. "I put a lot of things into perspective for who I needed to be." When his father asked him, "Who do you want to be for your sons?" he decided to change his behavior. "I looked at the way that my mom and dad raised me, and I just don't want that for my sons."

"You didn't know that you had sons before? You didn't know that you had responsibilities before? You didn't know that your actions impacted them?" Dr. Phil presses.

"Before, I was extremely selfish," Brandon admits. "I was stuck in really selfish behavior. I was completely immature. I didn't really care what other people thought about me. I would just do what I wanted."

Dr. Phil asks Amy, "So, you think he's changed?"

"I do," she replies. 

 

"Was what he was doing before, was that grounds for breaking this up?" Dr. Phil asks. "Had it reached a threshold where you said, 'That's enough. If this is who he is, I don't want to be married to this guy'?"

 

"Absolutely," Amy says.

Dr. Phil asks Heidi why she has stopped speaking to Amy.

Turning to Amy, Heidi says, "I think your decision to be with Brandon is very disruptive to your children, and to myself, and to your mom and dad, and to everyone who loves you."

"What business is it of yours?" Dr. Phil asks.

"It's my business because I'm in her life every day," she says. "I am involved because she's involved." She notes that she has been on an emotional roller coaster wit

h Amy over the last eight years.

"You think he's full of it," Dr. Phil says, pointing to Brandon.

"Yes," Heidi says. "It's a cycle. Brandon and Amy, right now, are in a cycle that has been happening for the last eight years." She explains that Brandon does something nasty, Amy cries and gets upset, then Brandon comes back and says he's changed. "Two weeks later, it's back to the same old behavior." 

 

"What do you think of Heidi for being here?" Dr. Phil asks Brandon.

 

"Heidi can sit there and say, ‘Oh, he does this cycle, and this cycle and this cycle,' but the fact of the matter is I do my best to stick by my wife," he says, but admits, "I've made some major, major mistakes." He points out that he has continually been going to counseling and didn't stop after two months, as Heidi claims.

"So sticking by your wife is calling her a stupid whore, and fat, and ugly and degrading her?" Heidi asks Brandon.

"That's something I did in the past," Brandon says.

 

Heidi and Brandon bicker.

"How often are you going to therapy?" Dr. Phil asks Brandon. "You told us you weren't in therapy."

 

"I have been," Brandon says.

 

Dr. Phil takes Brandon to task. "You said you're not in therapy," he says. "Did you or did you not tell us that?"



"I must have if I said it, but I know that I'm continuing to go to therapy. I have been going to therapy," he says.

 

"I'm trying to figure out if you're making a concerted effort to do something about this, and I'm wondering why you told us one thing if that's not the truth," Dr. Phil says. "I'm wanting to know whether you're a truth-teller, or you kind of massage it to fit where you are at the time."

"I go to one counselor, and I've been seeing her for the issues that I've been dealing with with [Amy]," Brandon says.

"How long since you've seen her?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I'm not sure exactly," Brandon says.

 

Turning to Amy, Dr. Phil asks, "Did you have an understanding about what was happening?"

 

"My understanding is that he was going. This is the first that I've heard that he was not going," she says. "A lot of the reason why I'm here is [to find out] what is real and what is not real."

"Have you been horrible, or have the times been horrible?" Dr. Phil asks Brandon.

Brandon says that 50 percent of the responsibility falls on him. "I take full responsibility for my actions, but it
allowed me to behave in a way that I shouldn't have, and it was a way that I never behaved before," he says.

"But, you do feel like you've changed?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yes, and I am working more toward that, to be a better father and husband to my wife," Brandon says.

"What was your thinking in having an affair with this nanny?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I wasn't really thinking. It was just a stupid thought," Brandon says. "I felt flattered, and she made passes at me, and the flirting hap
pened " "

"OK, that is completely false," Heidi interjects. "Nanny number one would not make a pass at you."

"Heidi, you were never there. You don't know," Brandon retorts.

"I lived in the household the whole entire time," Heidi says.

"Did you ever see me touch her?" he asks. "Uh, no you didn't. So you don't know what really happened."

Heidi maintains that Brandon initiated relations with the nanny.

Dr. Phil addresses Brandon. "[The nanny] says that you gave her painkillers and sleeping pills, and then virtually raped her in her bedroom, that you drugged her and then forced yourself on her," he says.

"That's absolutely not true," Brandon says.

"Were you taking painkillers at the time?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yes, I was."



"Did you give her any of them?"

"I didn't give them to her," he says. "Sometimes she would take them out of our drawers."

"That's not true," Amy says. "I've seen him physically put them in her mouth."

"You've seen him physically put painkillers in your nanny's mouth, and you said to yourself ... ?" a dumbfounded Dr. Phil asks Amy.

 

"I've got to get out of this," she says.

"Maybe it's just that I'm kind of country, but that's going to send off a warning bell to me," Dr. Phil quips.

"It was more than a warning," Amy says.

"Are they wrong about that? They're saying they saw you do it," Dr. Phil says to Brandon.

"I never took a pain pill and put it in our nanny's mouth," Brandon maintains. "Amy needs all of this ammunition, so she's going to gather people up and around to get people on her side. And, Heidi's going to believe anything that she says."

"I don't need ammunition. I don't want that," Amy says.

"You are your own ammunition against yourself," Heidi says. "We don't need to sit and collaborate with each other."

Brandon argues with Heidi and attempts to bring up her own unbecoming past behavior. "You came on here to prove your point, and I think a little bit should be known about your past," he says. "The reason why you dated [Amy's] brother was because they owned a store, and you wanted to get money from him." 

 

"This was Brandon in the past," Amy interjects. "This is coming out. I have not seen this since we have spent time together. This is the first time I've seen the old Brandon come out."