The Real Lives of Desperate Housewives: Germaine
Dr. Phil helps seven women to stop living a lie and start revealing the truth.
"I'm really afraid of people thinking that I'm not happy," says Germaine, who grew up "the ugly duckling" and has always been concerned about what people think about her. She is very frustrated in her marriage and in her life and feels like she's about to have a nervous breakdown. "I'm about to lose my friggin' mind and I'm just trying to hold on," she says. "I'm totally lost as to what I'm here for. I don't want to be that person who makes mistakes anymore."
Germaine tells Dr. Phil, "I'm friggin' confused. It's getting to me because enough is enough."
"Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that you have spent your entire life doing exactly what you've been told to do?" Dr. Phil asks.
Germaine gets emotional and tries to hold back her tears. "Next person because I don't want to talk anymore."
"Tell me what you're thinking right now."
"I really feel that I have lived according to this script that I felt I've been given. You go to school, you get a job, you get married, you have kids. And it's not working. And I'm so mad that it's not working," says Germaine, crying.
"How sick did you get as a child of being criticized all the time?" Dr. Phil asks.
Germaine can't answer.
"And when they stopped, you took over for them, and just repeated it in your head when they're not there to say it. True or false?"
"True," she says.
"You want to know what I think? I think you have never met Germaine. You've been told who she is, you've been told what she's supposed to do. And you get the degree and you hang it on the wall, but you don't believe it," he says.
"I hate it. I don't even care," says Germaine.
"Tell me what you hate," asks Dr. Phil. "Isn't the reason you're here is because you want to give yourself permission to make some choices in your life?"
Germaine is speechless.
The next day, Dr. Phil gives her an opportunity to speak to her husband face to face. She agrees.
Dr. Phil introduces himself to Germaine's husband, Daniel. "We've been talking to your wife because she is really frustrated with herself, more than you." He turns to Germaine: "What do you want your life partner to know and understand?"
Germaine cries. "I'm just really afraid that you're going to leave. And I get so scared when we don't have anything in common and we can't talk and I get really scared when I think you're not interested in what I'm doing. I just don't like being alone. I don't like the feeling," she says.
"Don't be alone now," Dr. Phil prompts. "Look at your husband."
"I don't like crying in front of my husband," says Germaine, sobbing. "I don't want him to think I'm weak."
"Hear what I'm saying here," says Dr. Phil.
"Stop crying," Germaine tells herself. "I've got to stop crying."
"You don't have to stop crying," Dr. Phil tells her.
"It's just so stupid," she says."Tell him what you want," Dr. Phil tells Germaine. "You're not weak, but you're crying for what you want and he's here to support you. True?" he asks Daniel.
"True," he responds.
Germaine speaks to her husband. "You know I'm really good at choreography. I just really want to be a star at it. But I don't want to lose you. I've had men leave me because of who I am and it hurts so bad," she says, crying. "I've never admitted that to anybody."
"What do you think about what she's saying?" Dr. Phil asks Daniel.
He addresses his wife: "I'm not going anywhere, babe."
"Do you think she's talented?" asks Dr. Phil.
"Very much so," says Daniel. "I've always told her to do what she wants to do. Whatever it is. Now, in some instances, I don't know where I'm going to fit in. She's artsy-fartsy, I'm geek tech. Doesn't matter. That's still my wife. That will always be my wife."
"Do you hear what he's saying?" Dr. Phil asks. "Your husband is telling you, 'I love you and support you and want you to pursue your creative talents.' You've got to be willing to get in the game. You've come up with every excuse in the world. We've just marked that one off the list, did we not? I want you to admit, 'My husband is supportive of me and what I do.'"
"My husband is supportive of me and what I do," says Germaine.
Backstage, Daniel says, "The fact that she said that she thought I would leave her, that was shocking to me. I'm not going anywhere."
Germaine sums up her thoughts: "Today was really hard for me because I felt like I had to admit a lot of weakness. The help I received was more of a kick in the ass, like you have no excuse for just sitting at home and being a complacent housewife. It's been life changing. I will never forget this. He really brought out a lot of things in me that I never took the time to think about."