The Real Lives of Desperate Housewives: Holly
Dr. Phil helps seven women to stop living a lie and start revealing the truth.
"I have a secret life," says Holly. "My kids have no idea. Looks can be deceiving. If anyone knew what I do at night by myself, I would be extremely embarrassed and ashamed. Obviously, I can't stop on my own or I wouldn't be sitting here. I'm not here obviously to impress anybody. If I cared about what people thought I would have stayed home."
"So what are you trying to project?" Dr. Phil asks.
"I think if you met me it would probably be on a tennis court," she says. "And I think that I would come across as very bubbly and outgoing and competitive. I think people think that they know me, that I have nothing to hide. That what you see is what you get. But there's a part of my life that they don't know about."
Dr. Phil questions Holly's attitude. "Are you angry?"
"No, I'm not angry," she says. "I've been angry, but I'm not angry.
"What are you comforting yourself from?" he asks.
"Oh, just everyday life," says Holly, who reveals her secret.
"I'm a typical [Orange County] mom. I have two children. I teach tennis. I have no financial worries, yet I drink anywhere between one and two bottles of wine a night," explains Holly. "I've been drinking that amount for about the last year. I would have a glass of wine at 6, maybe I'd have it with dinner. And then I'd pour myself another glass, until I've had a bottle of wine. And I think that most people would not notice a thing. And then I get some more, go upstairs, get in bed and wait to fall asleep."
She says that her drinking doesn't affect the kind of mother she is, but admits, "One time my son woke up late in the night. I had been drinking, so I got the person who lived here to drive us to the hospital ... There was one time that I had been drinking and my daughter, she was being sassy and she infuriated me and I pulled her hair. I felt bad."
Holly will soon be divorced from her husband who is in jail serving time for 17 felony counts having to do with drugs. "Drinking is like a best friend," says Holly. "It's just something that you can count on. I would consider myself an alcoholic because it has more control of me than I have of it."
"Do you change when you drink?" Dr. Phil asks.
"I'm sure I do," says Holly.
"Were you drunk when you told my staff they were a bunch of idiots, and you were 'f***ing p**sed' and you were 'doing them a f***ing favor to be here' and 'this was all for the show' and 'this is no brain surgery, what do you think this is, a joke?' Were you drunk when you were saying all that or was that you?"
Holly explains that she was exhausted and hungry after being filmed all day. "And I had two glasses of wine and yeah, I guess it hit me the wrong way. But I was p**sed. I was very p**sed. And when I'm p**sed, I'll tell you."
"Do you think the wine contributed to that?" asks Dr. Phil. "You were offered food, were you not?"
"I asked for food, and it was not given to me because we were in a rush," she says.
After they debate about whether or not the staff mistreated her, Holly admits, "The staff are all supremely nice."
"I'm just trying to find out if you're a mean drunk or if you just treat people with that kind of abusive language and conduct all the time," says Dr. Phil. "Do you think you define yourself with arrogance? I'm just trying to find out if your personality changes when you're drinking."
"OK, my personality changes when I drink," admits Holly. "I guess I say what's really on my mind."
"And the other times you don't?"

"I say what's on my mind in a more blunt way," she says.
"Why are you getting a divorce?" Dr. Phil asks.
"Because my husband was using drugs and it led to the end of our marriage," says Holly. "I knew he had a problem. I didn't realize it was going to be a relapse every three to four months."
"Are you addicted?" Dr. Phil asks.
"Yes," says Holly.
"If you were able to take that out of your life, how would it change things for the better?"
"I think I could be more of who I want to be," she says. "I think it holds me back. I sort of feel like I'm in a rut. It's a habit that continues even though I know it shouldn't. I feel like where I am in my life is stuck right now."
"I'll tell you what I know for sure," says Dr. Phil. "My dad's dead, but he was a bad alcoholic a long time. Changed who he was, changed his emotional availability, so I've lived with an alcoholic parent. And I know for sure that's not OK. I know for sure that if one of us got sick in the middle of the night, he couldn't have driven us to the hospital. We would've just died. I also know that you are absolutely brilliant. You have a really, really good head on your shoulders. You're dedicated as a mother. You have the ability to be an absolute star. You say it, you talk a good game, you play a good game, but I don't believe that you believe it."
"I do believe it. I just don't know what to do with it. I feel stuck right now. I don't know what to do," she says.
"You have two children who have hooked their star to your wagon and it is a great wagon, but man, you're stuck. I mean, really, you don't have the right to be stuck," Dr. Phil tells Holly. "To whom much is given, much is expected."
"That's right," agrees Holly.
At the end of the first day, Holly gives her thoughts. "It's harsh and I agree with almost everything. The staff has been awesome, but I do think there have been some misunderstandings. It's hard. This whole experience has been difficult."
Dr. Phil and Holly keep talking on part 2 of this series.