Too Hot!: Bobbie and Mike

Too Hot!: Bobbie and Mike

"All my life, I've been heavy. At my highest weight, I was 270 pounds," says Bobbie, who has lost 140 pounds. "I had gastric bypass surgery, and I went from a size 24 to a size 4." 

Bobbie's husband, Mike, thinks her new look attracts too much attention. "My wife has lost a ton of weight and now she's too hot," he complains. "I hate it when other guys check her out." Mike is feeling a little self-conscious because he's picked up 75 pounds since Bobbie's surgery. "I'm fat now and she's not," he laments.


Bobbie views her weight loss as an equalizer. "Before my surgery, we were at a bar, and there was a girl in there who had a crush on my husband. Her girlfriends were saying to her, 'Mike's here.' And she was saying, 'Yeah, but he's with his fat wife.' She can kiss my ass now," Bobbie says, voice trembling with emotion. "I look great and I love it. I deserve to look like this now."
Although Bobbie is comfortable flaunting her fab figure, she says that Mike's jealousy is driving her crazy. "There's a confrontation almost every time we go out. Michael will either get into a fight with someone, or he will yell at me for talking to a guy," she reveals. "Mike needs to get over his jealousy. We're going to wind up divorced if he doesn't stop."

"You started crying when the tape was playing and they were talking about your life before," Dr. Phil points out to Bobbie. "Tell me why." 

"It's so hard being heavy. I mean, look at the difference. People can just be cruel," she says, sniffling.

"So you suffered during that time. So now you're getting even."

Bobbie clarifies. "Not getting even — feeling comfortable with who I am," she says. 

Turning to Mike, Dr. Phil says, "Do you question her fidelity?" 

Mike says he's just being protective. "If a guy is going to walk by and slap her on the butt with me standing there, what happens if she goes out by herself?" he says. "She talks about how it hurt her with her being overweight. How do you think I'm starting to feel?"

Dr. Phil addresses Bobbie. "You were in a body image before that you weren't comfortable with. You went through a lot of hard work, a lot of sacrifice, a lot of the things necessary to get you where you are at this point," he observes. "Isn't it natural and normal that that might be a little uncomfortable for your husband?"

"I think it might be, especially with him gaining the weight," she concedes. 

Is Michael wrong for not trusting Bobbie when she goes out? Cameras follow her as she spends a night out on the town to see how she interacts with the opposite sex.


Bobbie plays pool with several men. She tells one guy who looks at her wedding band that she's wearing her grandmother's ring.

One pool player says, "My impression of her, initially, was that she was single because she was flirting."

Another bar denizen agrees. "I think she does enjoy the attention, does enjoy the flirtation, does enjoy the physical contact," he says. "There were two things I noticed. The first was while at the bar, her butt was pressing up against my knee. Even though I tried to move it back as far as possible, it was still there, and some guy could certainly misinterpret that as a very overly flirtatious action. The second was she had found an excuse to touch my stomach and also caress my chest."

Mike is visibly distraught after viewing the footage. "I'm glad I didn't go," he says, looking at his wife in disbelief. "That makes me mad."

Turning to Bobbie, Dr. Phil says, "Now that wasn't a hidden camera. You knew that there was a camera there."

She answers affirmatively, but tries to defend herself. "If there are two guys sitting there, and I have to
walk up between them to get a drink, I'm obviously going to push up against him because there's no room. So it's not like I was rubbing against him," she says. 

Dr. Phil is skeptical. "Are you telling me that during that time, this was just a geography problem?" He asks Bobbie to re-examine a graphic of her leaning against a man at the bar.

 

Resignedly, she says, "I guess I don't have anything to say because I don't consider myself flirting."

 

"The question is, what do other people consider, and is your husband unreasonable about this?" Dr. Phil tells Bobbie. "What is it that has you backed up?" 

In mock frustration she says, "I feel like I'm being picked on!"

Dr. Phil reassures Bobbie that he isn't picking on her. "I'm not suggesting that you're out looking to have an affair or looking to be inappropriate with some guy," he says. "But I know this: you spent a long time feeling invisible. You spent a long time feeling criticized. You spent a long time with people being mean and cruel and insensitive to you because your body image was not what you wanted it to be. Now, you've lost all this weight, gotten in shape, looking good, feeling good and it is great to celebrate that. But you have to be really careful about the message you send. Because I can tell you — from a guy's point of view — they might be receiving a different message than you intend."

 

Addressing Mike, Dr. Phil says, "You don't think she's out catting around, do you?"

Mike replies, "I know my wife loves me and all that. It's never been a problem with her. I've never really gotten mad at her; it's guys that won't stop."

Dr. Phil advises Mike to take steps to work on his self-esteem. "Get in shape. You don't want to be out of shape. You won't like your body image. You won't like yourself. You're feeling insecure and it's bad for your health," he says. "You're going to need to be in shape if you keep swinging on everybody that looks at her."