Twisted Love, the Aftermath: Charles and Tracy

 

Speaking to Dr. Phil was a wake-up call for Charles, and he was surprised at how negatively the audience reacted to him. "During the show, I felt like I got hit in the head with a two-by-four. When the audience got their knives and daggers out, I was in the hot seat," says Charles. "When Dr. Phil explained that polyfidelity in his dictionary was cheating, I wasn't prepared to hear that at the time." He also wasn't prepared to hear his paramour speak over the phone. "I did become upset when I heard the other woman's voice because it reminded me of the feelings that I had for her," he says.


"I think it really hit Charlie hard when Dr. Phil said that Charlie was being arrogant and selfish. At one point, I was worried that security was going to come and escort Charlie off the stage because he was being pretty confrontational," says Tracy. "On the show, when Charlie was saying about how beautiful the other woman was, it was real hurtful to me when he didn't say anything about me."

 

"The statement about how beautiful the other woman was was my justification of why I was so intoxicated to see her. It was no reflection of Tracy," says Charles. "The other woman was my pie because pie tastes good and everybody loves pie. You kind of become addicted to that sweet taste."

 

"Right after we did the taping, Charlie said, 'I guess you won.' I told him, 'Never say that again, because it's not about winning or losing,'" says Tracy.

Charles agreed to end his relationship with the other woman, but he wanted to do it face to face. "That's not something I could've done over the phone," he says. "I've seen the other woman four times since the show. I did not tell Tracy every time that I saw her."

 

"Charlie would tell me today was the day that he was going to say goodbye to her, and then he would come home and say that they didn't have enough time to say everything they needed to say, and he would need to see her one more time," says Tracy, frustrated. "There were phone calls and text messages. When Charlie received a third text message from her in one day, I started shaking. The other woman made sure that he knew that no matter how long it took, if things didn't work out between us, that she would be there for him. I told Charlie that all of the e-mailing, phone calls and text messages had to stop."

 

"When a man gets into this state of lust and attraction toward another woman, there's a chemistry that takes place, and it's like heroin. You'll do anything to get heroin," says Charles. "My desires that I have for this other woman, they've been absent with my wife. I went through a mourning process with ending the relationship with the other woman. I felt sad."

 

"Charlie has gone through depression, had feelings that he needed the fix, just like a drug addict," says Tracy. "I don't think the other woman is a very strong person. She is dependent on other people, and I think she's looking for someone to take care of her."

"It will take some time for me to be trustworthy again," admits Charles. "I have to earn my way into that."

 

Tracy wants to increase the intimacy in their marriage, but Charles isn't ready yet. "I don't think that there are things that she did to make him happy that I can't do, but right now we're still in the healing process," says Tracy.

 

"Tell me how you're doing," Dr. Phil says to Tracy.

"I'm doing a lot better than I was a month ago," she says. "I'm stronger. I'm learning a lot more about me and who I am, and I have a sense of peace in me. I realize now that the affair was not my fault, that I wasn't to blame for it. And I've had some issues with my own identity that I'm learning about, and through that, I'm getting stronger."

"Charles, how are you doing with all this at this point?" asks Dr. Phil.

"I'm taking baby steps. I'm relearning how to walk in our marriage. I forgot how to be a husband, and I'm relearning that process," he says.


"Is this something that at this point you're committed to?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I was freight train out of control, just racing down the tracks, out of control," says Charles. "My brakes are on and I'm just back to where we were before we disconnected. I want to let America know that there is life after an affair."

 

"When you came here before, I think actually by the time you got in this chair, you were starting to question some of the rationale that you had been embracing with this polyfidelity," says Dr. Phil. "Do you not have any friends or family members or anybody who just could put a body check on you and say, 'Buddy, what the hell are you thinking? You're going to get your head handed to you if you go tell her you want another woman in your marriage'?"

"They did. I just didn't hear it. I didn't hear it," he says. "I think timing is everything. In the back of my mind, I knew the polyfidelity thing was not for us. And when we came on the show, in the back of my mind, I wanted to hear your opinion of it."

 

"Was I clear?" asks Dr. Phil.

"You were very clear," says Charles. 

"You were the two-by-four that hit him upside the head and brought him back into reality," says Tracy.

 

"You know, at the time I was a highly tightened spring, and it had to be unsprung," says Charles. "And that's basically an attribute of my life because I do everything by the seat of my pants, which has not worked up to this point, but that was a big part of it. Just not listening to people. I did have friends that said, 'Buddy, be careful. What you're doing is wrong.' And I just didn't hear it."