Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge: Right Thinking, Key #1: Monika

Monika
Take a look at Monika's internal dialogue.
"I think I'm ugly, I think I'm a loser and I think I'm a whiner. I'm not worthy of taking care of my appearance. I've let myself go. I suck at my ability to manage my weight," Monika says. "I may have a quick fix with a diet and then gain it all back plus five more and I've done that so many times that I think my flesh has given up with the yo-yo dieting that it's just totally loose and disgusting."


She continues, "My excercise level for the last 10 years has been absolutely nothing. What is self control? I don't have any. I always tell myself that I'm not worth it, I can't stop thinking that I'm just not worth the effort."

Dr. Phil takes a closer look at Monika's negative internal dialogue, highlighting the most detrimental thoughts:


  • I am ashamed.
  • I am not worthy of taking care of my appearance.
  • I have a month-glass figure instead of an hour-glass figure.
  • I suck at weight management.
  • I don't stick with exercise. I don't like it and I don't want to do it.


    "How long have you been talking to yourself that way?" Dr. Phil asks Monika.


    "Since I was 20 or 21 years old, the first diet I ever went on," she says.

"Why did it start?" Dr. Phil asks.


"I never felt like I was worthy because of the physical abuse that I endured. I had to be the bad kid because dads don't spank their children for no reason. They don't beat them for no reason, so it had to be my fault," Monika says.


"So you take that and translate it into your current life, and say, 'Well, I must be worthless because they treated me that way. So they're now gone, I'll take over for them and tell myself what they used to tell me through their words and actions,'" Dr. Phil says. "Is that pretty much it?"


"That is it, absolutely," Monika replies.


Dr. Phil reiterates that if you tell yourself that you just can't do it, "you're set up to fail before you ever begin."