But then things got worse. "I have a bone disorder and before the wedding ceremony, I had taken my evening dose of medication. I was very nervous and I was offered wine to calm me down. I do not have any tolerance for alcohol," she says.
During the ceremony, Marlee's fiancé, Dave, noticed her behavior. "I realized that she was starting to get giddy," he says.
"I saw the reaction on her face and she had taken another drink to calm herself down," recalls Dave.
"That was the last clear memory I had of my wedding," says Marlee.
"The reception went on without Marlee," says Dave. "And I spent the rest of the night alone, walking around and talking to people and doing damage control ... I went to the altar with Princess Diana and she morphed into Courtney Love."
Marlee is consumed with guilt. "Since the wedding, I haven't been myself. I haven't been able to face a lot of the people that were there that day. My wedding still haunts me. I feel I've let so many people down," she says. Especially her husband. "What happened at the wedding has caused Dave to be leery of me."
"Our wedding has caused friction in our relationship," says Dave. "Even today, I'm hesitant about taking Marlee to social events."
"In the back of his mind, he might be afraid I could lose control and make a fool of myself," says Marlee. "I still haven't found the tools to forgive myself. I hope someday I will be able to."
"It is," says Marlee.
"But you're choosing that," Dr. Phil points out.
"I am," she agrees. "You can't turn back time, but this is just one day I dreamt about as a little girl ... People flew in and took time out of their busy careers, and my family and their expectation, I just really let people down," she says.
"What do you mean let them down?" asks Dr. Phil. "Do you think these people go home and say, 'You know, I just lost my zest for life. I feel so let down and betrayed that she got drunk at her wedding. I don't know how I can go on.'"
"She really does hang onto the disappointment," agrees Dave.
"My dad used to say, 'You wouldn't worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did,'" says Dr. Phil.
"I was really deeply disappointed," says Dave. "I did not expect that behavior on the wedding. And I honestly was angry, I was disappointed."
"I understand that y'all would be disappointed about this," says Dr. Phil. "It's been two and a half years! You don't have enough time to tell me that you still need to be shut down and backed up about this. Forgiveness is a choice. You have to lighten up with her about this."
"I've forgiven her for that. But the issue now is that she has not forgiven herself," says Dave.
"I'm holding on to it," agrees Marlee.
"You need to support her here and not hold it over her head," Dr. Phil tells Dave.
"No, I didn't," says Marlee.
Dr. Phil thinks Marlee is getting a payoff by hanging onto the guilt. "You've got to figure out what your payoff is and you've got to make a choice that says, 'This is over. I did not intend for this to happen. It took a bad turn and I'm letting it go.' You're cheating your husband because a guilt-ridden partner is less than a 100 percent. You're cheating your children because a guilt-ridden mother is less than 100 percent. You need to let this go. You need to make the choice to consciously forgive yourself for getting caught in a bad situation and making some bad choices at the time ... Are you that rigid and judgmental with other people?"
Dr. Phil surprises them with an anniversary celebration at Falls Manor restaurant in their town. "They're going to have a commemorative party for you and 30 of your friends and family that you can just bring in and you can play a tape of this show," says Dr. Phil.
Dr. Phil reiterates with Marlee: "Make a choice."