Wedding Disasters: Patrick and Ann

Wedding Disasters: Patrick and Ann
Dr. Phil speaks with guests who can't get over their wedding day disasters.
"Our ceremony was beautiful as planned. The reception was wonderful. To me, everything was perfect," says Patrick of his wedding day. "The problem is, I just don't remember it."

"I wanted just a nice, intimate wedding with great memories that would last us a lifetime," says Ann. "And then we ended up in the
emergency room."

During a toast, Ann's father wanted to welcome Patrick to the family by giving him a "fresh one" — a fake slap to the face. "It's designed to hit and release at the fingers, so it'll just be a little slap," says Patrick.

But that's not what happened. "He hit him so hard in the head that everybody was like, 'Oh my God, is he OK?'" explains Ann. After the hit, Patrick didn't remember much of his wedding. "When his brother said, 'I'm going to take you guys to your hotel in San Diego, my husband says, 'What hotel room?' He pulls me into another room and says 'I don't know what all these people here are doing.'"

"I didn't remember how I got where I was," says Patrick.
"I just lost it and I started crying and crying and crying," says Ann. "And I just remember thinking maybe he didn't want to marry me. I didn't know what was going on. When we arrived at the E.R. I just remember everybody staring at us, wondering why we were there. I was in my wedding dress, I had my crown on. It was a nightmare."

"The diagnosis was temporary amnesia," says Patrick. "I don't remember cutting the cake, the best man's speech, dancing with my wife, the first kiss I don't remember, and walking down the aisle."

Patrick and Ann missed their honeymoon because he couldn't be released from the hospital in time. "She was upset and I feel horrible about that," says Patrick. "I really wish Ann could get beyond the disappointed feeling."

"The mishap at our wedding really does affect our marriage," says Ann. "We had a fight about it the other night ... We missed that first intimate night that a husband and wife should have together. We'll never have that back and I can't seem to get over it."
"First off, what are you mad at him for?" Dr. Phil asks Ann. "He just got called up by the bride's father and got knocked ass over tea kettle!"

"I got upset with him too," she says about her dad.

"But you're saying he should've been more responsible? Like, duck?"

"I dodged the first one," says Patrick.

"He did and my dad overcompensated and really hit him hard. For the longest time, I was basically concerned with 'Is he OK? Is he going to have a relapse?' We didn't know if he was going to have permanent damage from this. And I think I just held it all in ... I have to be honest that I am angry at him, whether it sounds right or wrong."

"You're angry at him because your dad slapped him. And he got a concussion, an MRI, a cat scan, a spinal tap ..."
Ann begins to cry. "On our way up to the reception we just had the best conversation and he doesn't remember it. He just said the nicest things and about us planning our life together and he just doesn't remember any of that."

"Doesn't mean he didn't mean it," says Dr. Phil. "In fact, his inhibitions were probably down, it was probably some of the truer words you've ever heard from him."

"This is the last thing I wanted to occur," says Patrick.

"Are you mad at your dad?" Dr. Phil asks Ann.

"I am," says Ann. In fact, she has yet to talk to him about it.

"There seems to be this pattern of not dealing with these things. It was an accident, it was a mishap," says Dr. Phil. "And you're saying you can't get by it, but the truth is you won't get past it. What are you getting out of harboring this anger and bitterness and resentment?"

"We missed out on our wedding night together," says Ann. "That most intimate time with your husband and I feel like we've lost that connection that we should've had."

"How do you think he felt? They gave him a spinal tap!"
"I want to let it go," says Ann. "I honestly want to let it go."

"If you want to, they why don't you?" Dr. Phil asks. "Is it a control issue with you? Is it that you're afraid to get happy because you think something else is going to happen?"

"There is a fear that he's going to have a recurrence," she says.

Patrick and Ann have two children and Dr. Phil wants to know why they won't leave the kids for a rescheduled honeymoon.

"To be honest, I feel like something is going to happen to them," she says.

"What you're saying is, 'If I just stay ever vigilant, then I can protect them from all things evil.'"

"Exactly," says Ann, getting emotional.

"And you've seen this in your own family because you had some pain created in your family of origin at a very young age, correct?"

"Yes," says Ann."You can't control enough stuff. Ann, you cannot control enough elements and enough things that if you squeeze tight enough, everything is going to be OK," says Dr. Phil.

"I am seriously going to take that into consideration," she says.

He says, "You've got to let this go," and also encourages them to spend some time away from their kids.

"I do need to do that and I promise I'm going to start making those steps," says Ann.

"I'm going to put you to the test," says Dr. Phil. "If you will make careful arrangements with trusted people in the appropriate way to leave those children, I'm going to replace your honeymoon." Dr. Phil is going to send them on an eight-day Carnival cruise to the Mexican Riviera.

Patrick and Ann are shocked.

"Watch my lips: This is a trip for two adults," says Dr. Phil. "Make this your first step of putting this behind you. And while you're at it, write your dad a note and forgive him for this."

"I will," says Ann.