Will There Be A Wedding?: Jennifer and Rick

Will There Be A Wedding?: Jennifer and Rick
Since Jennifer and Rick called off their wedding two years ago, their relationship has been in limbo. Their engagement is off, but they continue to see each other. Both agree that the root of their relationship problems stem from the unresolved issues Rick has with his previous fiance. Rick admits that he lied to Jennifer about making contact with his ex. Jennifer says that deception destroyed her trust in Rick and casts serious doubts in her mind about who Rick wants to marry.
Dr. Phil asks Jennifer and Rick a key question all couples should ask themselves: "Do you really know yourself and do you really know your partner? Because if you're going to get married, you have to know who you're bringing to the relationship; you've got to know who you are. What's your baggage? What are your problems? What are your concerns and considerations? What are your values? What are your beliefs? And do you really know your partner?"
"You have a real trust issue here," Dr. Phil points out to Jennifer.

"Pretty much so," admits Jennifer. "I don't think you can go into a relationship if you don't trust somebody 100 percent."

Dr. Phil continues, "So you're saying, 'I really don't know my partner. I don't know what he was thinking. I don't know why he was lying. I don't know why he's become distant. I don't know my partner.'"

Jennifer replies, "I know he was becoming distant because [of what] he was going through with her. He wasn't being fair to me and he wasn't being honest."
"You don't trust him," Dr. Phil tells Jennifer. "You shouldn't wade into somebody that doesn't trust you. But if that's the case, you have to decide if this is going to be a life sentence for him. And if it is, you need to tell him. You need to say 'Look, you blew it, you lied to me and I caught ya.'"

Dr. Phil continues, "The only thing worse than being in a dead-end relationship for three years is being in a dead-end relationship for three years and one day ... and the clock is ticking. So, you've got to make a decision. If this is a life-sentence for him, then you need to tell him that and let him go. And if it's not, then you need to say 'We need to figure out how we're going to do this. We need to commit to doing this.'"
Dr. Phil asks Rick, "Didn't you say your greatest fear is not losing her as a fiance, but it's losing her as a friend?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I said," Rick answers. "But I believe there's more to it than that. I think we have something really great. Or it could be great, because it was really great in the beginning.

"But the only time is now," Dr. Phil says. "You're saying 'At one time we were really happy.' But hell, at one time I had hair! But things change."
"I know," Rick says. "But every time that it starts becoming great, something will come up and she'll throw the ex situation back in my face again and that starts an argument and we go back to square one. She's told me before that she can forgive me, but she can't forget it."

"But you're saying it like it's her problem," says Dr. Phil. "You ran this off in the ditch. You're the one that had the phone calls and didn't tell her about it, whether you were doing something wrong or whether you weren't. As I've said, people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. You've got to be willing to say 'Look, I will help you [Jennifer] fix this and then we'll see if it gets back on the road or it doesn't.'"