Women Beware: The Mystery Method

Women Beware: The Mystery Method

The Mystery Method is a step-by-step instruction on how to meet, attract and date women. "The first thing you've got to do if you meet a woman, you have to be able to open," says Nick who has been teaching The Mystery Method for a few years. "Open just means starting a conversation. You need to get the attention focused on you." He gives an example of an opener to the students in his seminar. "The Jealous Girlfriend opener would be, ‘A couple of friends of mine just moved out to L.A., but they broke up pretty soon after they got here, and they've got two months left on their lease. They're both dating other people. Is it OK to bring other people home?'"


Nick explains another technique called disqualification: acknowledging something about the woman that isn't perfect. For example, saying, "Nice nails. Are they real?"


Scott, a fellow Mystery Method teacher, explains cold reads. He says they revolve around observations. "They keep you talking to them, like, ‘You're the good [girl], and you're the bad one.' So you're making a cold read on them, and they'll start arguing about it," he tells the class.


Another tip is to come in with a false time constraint. "Initiate a conversation, and say, ‘I've got to get back to my friends. I can only stay here for a second,'" Nick says. "Women love a challenge."

"I've always been in a relationship, so this is, like, a new experience, and I decided I want to be able to meet whomever I want," says one of the male


Another man comments, "These different techniques will help me find women of value."

"These guys have been doing this for years, so why would an
yone not want to tap into that kind of knowledge?" asks a bespectacled man.


The classmates hit the L.A.'s Sunset Strip to see if The Mystery Method will help them land a lady. At the end of the night, they share their stories.

"I busted out three different tested-and-proven routines to get their attraction, and they were eating out of my palm," says one student.


Another protégé says, "There was this chick I met, got her number, and I didn't even have to, sort of, go after her for that."

"Is this good technique, or is it a devious bag of tricks?" Dr. Phil asks Scott and Nick.

"Devious? No," says Scott. "We always break the ice in some way, shape or form. We're just doing it in a way that's reliable for us to get results."


Nick adds, "Thousands of men are approaching a woman over the course of her life, and you need to come in with a way that's a little bit different. There is nothing devious about it."


Dr. Phil reveals that he is very shy when speaking with people in small groups. "It seems to me like you're giving people some tools to meet girls with," he says.  

"Usually going in when they start, guys aren't feeling confident, but if they can rely on what we teach them, they begin to get results, and then they become confident," Scott says.  

"Once you've done this a few times, men realize that beautiful women aren't big, scary monsters, and you can go approach and start a conversation," Nick says.

"These girls don't know who [the men they meet] are. They can't reject them as a person for who they are, for the qualities that they have. They're rejecting their approach," Scott explains.


"A lot of this is about putting a woman in a position where she's going to be interested in what you have to say," Nick says. "In the first three seconds of a public gathering, she's probably not going to be."


Dr. Phil asks the audience, "Does it bother y'all if you find out after the fact that a guy had training to meet you?"

By a show of hands, the audience is split fifty-fifty.

Dr. Phil asks Scott and Nick about the Neg-Hit: when a man knocks down a woman's self-esteem so she's more approachable.

"The idea is around disqualification," Nick says. He explains that when a man approaches a woman, he often does so because she is attractive, but he also wants to get to know the woman. The woman most likely thinks he's just trying to hit on her. "At the beginning, we'll say something or do something that normally a guy who would be interested in her wouldn't do. It might be some playful teasing, or as you saw in the video, notice something about her that isn't perfect, and then you
can bring the conversation down to a more human level."

"It's really teasing," Scott elaborates. "If it takes her down a peg, and there's a silence, and it's weird, you did it wrong." 


Dr. Phil mentions that a lot of Web sites and organizations in the seduction community promote these techniques as a way to get a woman in bed. "You guys separate from that, but knowing guys, that's got to be in the back of their head," he says.


"I wouldn't regard us as being part of anything called a seduction community," Nick makes clear. "That's just not what we're about."


Dr. Phil asks the men to describe a Full Close.


"Developing emotional and physical intimacy with someone is the foundation of a lot of relationships," Nick says. "When you want to initiate a physical relationship with somebody, once you've spent time with them, and you've built up that level of attraction, comfort and trust, there's a way to do that that's interesting and exciting for a woman."

Valerie and Holli, two women at the bar the night the students of The Mystery Method practiced their techniques, share their experiences at the end of the evening.


"[One of the men who approached me] was a nice guy. He kept coming back to us and sitting at our table. He came back to us when he thought we were leaving and said, ‘I hope you guys have a good night. It was nice to meet you,'" Holli shares.


"He definitely gave me a couple compliments and acted like he was interested. I would maybe go for him, but he's not usually my typical type," Valerie says. 


In his studio, Dr. Phil asks Valerie, "When you walk into a bar, a social situation, a party somewhere, what's your attitude?" 


"Just to have fun," she says. "Usually at bars I don't have it in my head to meet a guy, because I don't seem to find quality guys at bars."

"Do you get hit on a lot when you're out socializing and you're not on a date?" Dr. Phil probes.

"I actually don't get approached very often," she says.

Asked about her experiences, Holli says, "I get approached quite a bit, but it's usually the guys that approach you that you don't want to approach you."

Valerie agrees.


"What does interest you?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Somebody who's not drunk," Valerie says with a smile.

Dr. Phil asks the women which approach from the students of The Mystery

Method they liked best.

"Telling a story," Holli says. "You guys made up stories to tell."


"They're based on real experiences," Nick says. "That's when we took them off into groups and taught them how to deliver those stories in a way that's interesting and attractive."

"What would be a really good way that you would approach one of these two?" Dr. Phil asks Nick and Scott.

"I would probably come in and either ask their opinion on something, or state an observation of something that might be interesting," Nick says.


"Their idea is a good one," Holli says. "Men need to go to school to learn how to approach women."

Dr. Phil points out that just as women take time to pick the perfect outfit and apply makeup before they go out for the night, men p

repare themselves by polishing their game.

Holli says that a technique that worked on her was when one of the men talked about a topic that was interesting and invited her to ask questions.

Valerie says that one of the men told her a story and asked for her opinion. "It was just a great icebreaker," she says. "I've never been approached that way before." She felt good that he wanted to know what she thought. "Afterward, we start talking about other things, and he's broken the ice, and he's with us at that point, and we get into a good conversation."

Dr. Phil asks Amanda, another woman who was at the bar the night The Mystery Method students were on the prowl, "How do you feel about these guys being polished up?"


"I actually believe that you can have two different views on it," she says. "It's good because they're actually making an effort, but on the other hand, it's not good because it's not natural."


"Do you worry sometimes that if there's a really nice guy who just doesn't have the social skills, that you might miss him? Whereas if he learned how to engage you, you might discover som

ebody whom you might have missed otherwise," Dr. Phil asks. "You said it's not natural if they're kind of running a routine."


"In some ways it might not be natural because it didn't come from them. Someone taught them how to do that," she explains.


"Didn't somebody teach y'all how to put your makeup on, how to choose clothes, how to conduct yourself as a lady?" Dr. Phil asks. "Somebody invented the push-up bra for a reason."