You Either Get It or You Don't: Robert

You Either Get It or You Don't: Robert
Dr. Phil talks with guests about what it takes to be successful in life.
Kesha says her husband Robert has been bouncing from job to job for the past six years. "My husband doesn't get that he has to be more motivated and aggressive to get the job he wants," she says. She feels that he gives out negative signals to his employers. "He's extremely standoffish and self-defeating." Kesha feels Robert doesn't respect her because he seems complacent with her role as the breadwinner.


"I've had more jobs in the last five years than fingers," admits Robert. He considers himself to be ambitious, but says, "it just hasn't happened for me yet." Although Robert has two classes left to complete his degree in Architecture, he's not planning on finishing because he's unsure if that's what he wants to do with his career.
"The part that hurts for me is he doesn't know who he is, and I don't know who he is either," says Kesha. "How can I motivate my husband to get with it and live up to his potential?"


"You can't," says Dr. Phil. "That's something you can help with, you can talk about and you can support. But that's not your choice."


Robert says he's not unmotivated. He explains that he started going after specific goals in architecture, but realized that wasn't where he wanted to go. "Right now I'm trying to determine where in the career field I think I best fit," he says.


Dr. Phil points out that time can slip away easily. "Does it seem odd to you that you would go all that way through those courses and get two away from having your degree and stop?" he asks.

Kesha reveals that she started a secret savings account to prepare for the next time Robert is unemployed. This is the first time Robert hears about it.


Dr. Phil challenges Robert's thinking with a real world perspective: "If you have a college degree, your ability to get into certain positions, get into certain jobs, get even considered in a pool of potential hires, goes up dramatically." It doesn't matter what field the degree is in because a degree in itself is worth something in the job market. He tells Robert that he's within striking distance. "You could have that degree and make it part of your arsenal in getting the job you want."

Dr. Phil illustrates how he felt when he got his Ph.D. "I got in the car, looked at Robin and said, 'I don't know what I'm going to do with this because I sure don't want to go use it.' But I finished it and I got it because I knew it was a credential that would be important for doing the things I might want to do at some point," he says.


He tells Robert he needs to finish his degree. "That is your shortest way, your quickest way to move your game to the next level, because right now you're a high school graduate. And you can't afford to go back to school, can you?"


"Not exactly," says Robert.


Dr. Phil points out that Kesha is six and a half months pregnant, and they have another child at home. "They need you to get in the game, man," he says.