"You're Not Hot Enough:" Anita and Kenny"

"You're Not Hot Enough:" Anita and Kenny"

"When we got married, Anita was every man's ideal woman with the perfect body. She was thin, saucy, very sexy," says Kenny, who has been married to Anita for seven years. At the time of their wedding, Anita was a size five and was getting modeling offers. "I miss my hot, sexy wife."

 

"I know I'm not the hot wife that my husband married, but his comments are only making it worse," says Anita, who now weighs

220 pounds and wears a size 20-22. "I'm sick of being reminded of how fat I've gotten."

 

In November 2003 Anita and Kenny were in a car accident, and Anita was injured. Then she really started to gain weight. "Kenny has said when we see someone who looks good, 'I wish you could look that good for me again,'" Anita shares. "He would say things to me like, "If you would lose 80 pounds, you would be hot again.'"

 

Kenny admits that he makes comments about Anita's weight. "One time when she was dressing, I said, 'You need to move that big thing

out of the way. You're blocking the TV,'" he says, admitting, "I wish she was 60, 70 pounds lighter."

 

Anita's weight gain is negatively affecting their sex life. "When we first got together, we were like rabbits," Kenny reveals. "It's hard to snuggle up and be intimate with someone who's wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt."

 

Anita admits that she avoids being naked with Kenny. "I'd rather have a root canal than be intimate with him," she says. "I'm ashamed for him to see my body. I let the kids sleep in our bed so I have an excuse not to be intimate."

Anita says that Kenny walks in front of her when they are in public. "I feel like he's ashamed of me and doesn't want to be seen with me," she says. "He's the man who's supposed to love me for better or worse. It makes me feel like less of a woman inside."

 

"Anita used to be a real hottie," Kenny says. "Anita now is fat, frumpy and lazy." He turns to Dr. Phil for help. "I married a hot, sexy woman.

How can I get her back?"

 

"Do you really want to know how to help her feel better, look better, be better?" Dr. Phil asks Kenny.

"Yes," Kenny replies.

"What you're doing so far, couldn't be more damaging and destructive if you planned it that way," Dr. Phil tells Kenny. "Criticism,

put downs, sarcasm and negative comments are not motivational to somebody who's fighting their weight and their health."

Dr. Phil addresses Anita. "That doesn't help does it?" he asks her. "In fact it's demotivating, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Anita agrees.

"What do you want?" Dr. Phil asks Anita.

"I want to lose the weight. I'm not happy with it. I'm not happy with me," Anita says. She and Kenny have two small children and she is a stay-at-home mom. "I don't feel like I'm functioning to take care of

them, and it's not fair to them. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to my kids, and I feel like I'm robbing them of me, because I can't do the things I used to do with them."

"What is keeping you from it?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Making the wrong choices," Anita says. "I've taken diet pills and Slim-Fast and done all kinds of things that I probably shouldn't be doing."

"You're taking 14 to 15 diet pills a day. Is that working?" Dr. Phil inquires.

"No," Anita says.

"You're just eating right through them. They just give you more energy to go get food," Dr. Phil points out. "You aren't the same person that he married, are you?"

"No," Anita says.

 

Dr. Phil suggests that Anita read The Ultimate Weight Solution, specifically the chapter on weight-loss resistance. "Sometimes people's bodies do get into a chemistry that makes it almost impossible to lose weight," he tells her. "If you are hormonally out of balance, chemically out of balance, then it would make it very frustrating for you."

Dr. Phil introduces Dr. Frank Lawlis. "You are very suspicious, from talking with the medical consultants on your staff at the Lawlis Peavey Center, that there are issues here at a hormonal level, true?" Dr. Phil asks.

"There are several kinds of hormonal problems," Dr. Lawlis explains. "It may have started with the accident, because that will jar the brain and create all kinds of hormonal imbalances, as well as depression."

"And with depression comes lethargy, and with the lethargy comes just a real imbalance between intake and output," Dr. Phil explains. "You can change this and get healthy and with getting healthy comes
substantial and significant long-lasting weight loss, if you're willing to do what it takes."

 

"I'm more than willing. I feel like it's something I have to do," Anita says.

"You've got to get off the diet pills, and you've got to stop this yo-yo diet," Dr. Phil informs her. "People who go on those diets gain more weight during a year than people who don't go on a diet at all, because of the binging. And by the way, your chance of dying from a heart attack when you're on yo-yo diets, is 70 percent greater than when you don't. And you've got the kids to think about."

Dr. Phil addresses Kenny. "What you can do is become a support here, become a partner. Not a critic, but a help," he tells him.



"I've never said anything like this to try to hurt her," Kenny says, emphatically.

Dr. Phil tells Kenny that he realizes his intentions with Anita are good, but he's going about it wrong. "You say, 'Well, we just said that in jest.' That doesn't mean that it stings any less. It doesn't mean that it hurts any less," he points out. "What I want you to do is become part of the overall process here, very positive, very supportive in what we're doing." 

 

Dr. Phil addresses Anita. "We're going to get you checked out medically, because I think there are some things going on at a brain level here that are making it impossible for you to respond to normal efforts, and we're going to change that," he assures her. "Then we're going to get your lifestyle realigned, and we're going to do this in a healthy way."