"You're Not Hot Enough:" Teri"

"You're Not Hot Enough:" Teri"

"No matter what I do, I'm never hot enough. On a scale of one to 10, I rate myself a four," says 29-year-old Teri. She is 5'5" and weighs 102 pounds, but she would like to be seven pounds lighter. "Hot to me is thin, tan, flat stomach, no acne and long hair. Hot is young and old is over 40."

 

Teri thinks two of the hottest girls are Jessica Simpson and Gisele Bündchen. "They're both tall and have perfect bodies," Teri explains.

 

Teri is always looking through magazines and comparing herself to the women she sees on the pages. "When I look at these pictures, I think about everything that I'm not, and I just want to look like them." Teri, who kissed her friend at a bachelorette party, said she only did it because her friend is hot. "I wouldn't kiss an ugly girl."

 

Teri focuses on her looks and being hotter six times a day. "I ask my husband at least twice a day if I look hot," she reveals. "I feel the pressure not to gain weight, because my husband really

wants to be with somebody who's thin. He says that fat people are ugly and unattractive."

 

To make herself look hotter, Teri gets manicures, facials and colors her hair. She also puts on firming lotion and self-tanning lotion, exercises and diets. "I would take plastic surgery if it was offered to me. I'd definitely have liposuction on my thighs and Botox on my face," she shares, turning to Dr. Phil for help. "I'm consumed with being hot. How can I stop obsessing?"

"Can we go over the part about why you're kissing other girls?" Dr. Phil asks.

"It's just fun. Not everybody does it, so it's also different," Teri says. "So you can always remember you were young once, and you did this, and it was fun and exciting."

"Getting your hair cut is different," Dr. Phil quips. "So you're doing this for attention? You like the attention."

 

"There wasn't a lot of attention," Teri replies.

 

Dr. Phil reads from a graphic he has created showing how many times a day Teri asks her husband about her looks. At 10:40 a.m., she asks, "Is this outfit sexy?" At 11:40 a.m., she asks if the same outfit is cute. At 11:46 a.m., she asks if he likes her "booty." At 4:40 p.m., she asks him if she would fit into a new outfit. And the list goes on.  

Dr. Phil offers Teri advice. "I think you're playing with fire here," he tells her. "You're wanting to lose weight, right?"

"Yes," Teri says.



Dr. Phil asks Teri's husband, Glen, "Do you think she needs to lose weight?"

"Absolutely not. Look at her," he replies.

Dr. Phil addresses Teri. "If you're thinking you need to lose weight, then you have a distorted body image," he says. "And I think you like to be reassured, but you're kind of a bottomless pit on that, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Teri agrees.

"Do you see, when you step back and look at that, that's not rational, right?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yes," Teri agrees.

"You've got a couple of problems here," Dr. Phil tells her. "One is some real insecurity. You could lapse into an eating disorder with anorexia or bulimia in a real short step."

Dr. Phil tells Teri some things Glen said about her. "He had a lot to say about you, and very little of it had to do with the way you look," he t

ells her. "He sees you for what's inside the wrapper, not just the wrapper. What attracts him to you are the qualities that you seem to ignore." He reminds her that there will always be people who are cuter than she. "You're chasing a non-existent dream," he says. "From everything that I can understand, in spite of the superficial focus, you're really a very nice young lady with a lot to offer, but you just don't pay much attention to those aspects, do you?"

"No, not usually," Teri admits. "I just think it's easier to focus on the superficial things than work at being something
else."

"It's easier, but you know the problem with that? It is superficial," Dr. Phil reminds her. "You're going to get older. You're going to get wrinkly, and you're going to get gray ... That's going to happen, so the whole question is are you going to talk about and focus on some of those things that do transcend time? And that's what will sustain you getting along with you, and you two getting along with each other."