"My Husband, Pablo, and His Other Women"
August 15, 2014
Dr. Phil offers to help a couple salvage their marriage in what seems to resemble a real-life version of the new Cameron Diaz movie, The Other Woman. Anna says her husband of three years, Pablo, is a cheater who claims he only strayed once — but she says she has proof that he’s lying and is ready to confront him with the evidence: his alleged mistresses, Amanda and Bernice. Pablo insists he has been faithful since his one-time affair and says Anna needs to stop the accusations and trust him — or else he’s ready for a divorce. Why does he say Anna is to blame for his infidelity? And why, despite her husband’s admission, does Anna say she still wants to fix their marriage? Tensions run high when all three women face Pablo on Dr. Phil’s stage. How will he react? And, what message do Amanda and Bernice have for Pablo? Dr. Phil enlists the help of Bishop T.D. Jakes, author of Instinct: The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive, to offer the couple advice for moving forward. Can this marriage be saved?
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A Husband’s BetrayalAnna says she and her husband of three years, Pablo, started dating almost instantly when they first met, and everything was great in the beginning. She says shortly after they got married, Pablo was sent to Iraq for work, and he became distant. “I finally found out that Pablo was cheating on me when, one day, he got into some trouble, and I had to pick him up,” she says. “When I arrived to help Pablo, they told me that his girlfriend had already arrived to help him.” She says when she told the other woman she was Pablo’s wife, the woman drove off. “When I got home, I confronted Pablo,” she says. “He admitted to having an affair. He admitted that they had sex twice a week.” She says she felt betrayed, but Pablo broke it off with the other woman, and they began working on repairing their marriage. “It was hard to believe, but I was willing to give it a shot, because I wanted to save my marriage,” she says, adding that she's trying to learn to trust him again.
Pablo insists he was only unfaithful once, a year ago, and says Anna needs to stop accusing him of cheating and just trust him — or else he’s ready for divorce. He also blames his wife for the infidelity, saying, “During the first year that I was overseas, Anna was great. She sent care packages, letters. After the first year, it stopped cold, and I felt abandoned by her." Once back home, he says he still felt abandoned while he dealt with family issues. “I needed the support and comfort of Anna, and she chose not to be there with me, and instead, she was out partying,” he says, adding that he sought attention from another woman. “I started a relationship with her. We’d just meet up, maybe, once or twice a week, and we just had fun together. We did have sex.” He says despite confessing to Anna about his one-time affair, she continues to accuse him of cheating. “I’m getting tired of it,” he says, adding that Anna has secretly checked his messages and contacts on his cell phone. “I don’t have any privacy in this marriage and in my life right now,” he says. “I only had one occasion that I was unfaithful to her, and she should be able to move on.”
Onstage, Dr. Phil asks Pablo why he cheated, and he responds, “I stopped feeling love for Anna. I stopped having emotions for her.”
“So, you don’t love her?” Dr. Phil asks.
“For a period of time, I didn’t. Now, my love is trying to get back to her,” he says, adding that he’s focused on repairing his relationship.
“You’re here,” Dr. Phil points out.
“Because [Anna] told me to do it,” Pablo responds.
“So, this is her fault?” he asks.
“Pretty much,” Pablo says.
Dr. Phil says he gave Pablo every opportunity to be honest and provide all the information necessary to fix his relationship. “I can’t help people if I don’t know what’s wrong,” he says, adding that Pablo is playing the victim.
“I’m not playing the victim, I just didn’t know that this was going to happen,” Pablo says.
“So, what?” Dr. Phil responds. “You knew you were lying to me when you came out here and sat down. I said, ‘Do not waste your time or mine. Tell me the truth.’” He gives Pablo another chance to come clean on any other infidelities, and Pablo says, “What is the stipulation about just not doing the show anymore? Can I just stop and walk?”
“You can do whatever you want to do, but what you don’t want to do is say you want help and then lie about it,” Dr. Phil responds.
Anna tells Pablo that she brought him on the show as a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. "I still have hope for us," she tells him. "I want to be out of this hole that we're sitting in, in our marriage."
"Anna, I love you, and I care about you, but ... this marriage is not the same anymore," he responds.
"What happened to you telling me how much you love me, a few days ago?" she asks.
Pablo says something happened recently that made him realize he no longer wants to be in the marriage, and Dr. Phil asks, "If that's true, then why lie?"