A Family Divided: Alex's Dating and Birth Control: Family Fight

The Family Fight
Dr. Phil discusess Alex's interst in dating again, and whether she should be on birth control.Alex is ready to be a teenager again and start dating, but Marty and Erin are nervous about what that means.
While our cameras were on, the family had a fight about Alex's desire to date a new boy, Anthony.


"Don't sit here for one second and think you're going to be going out with Anthony," Marty tells Alex. "It's not going to happen this week, next week or any week."


"That's crap," Alex replies, explaining to her parents that she wants to get to know Anthony, even if they just spend time together in the house when her parents are home.


Erin reminds Alex, "You managed to have sex on the sofa."


"You sit there and you judge me, and you say that I make bad mistakes and I guess I've made mistakes. People make those. Get over it!" Alex tells her parents. "I'm not racing into a relationship."


Erin tells Alex, "Why on earth am I going to let you go out with a boy? You have to earn back my trust ... By making good choices."


Katherine gives her opinion about why she thinks Alex is in a hurry to date again. "You want people to tell you what you want to hear. That you have a beautiful baby, and then they get in your pants," she says.

Dr. Phil asks Alex why she thinks she is ready to start dating again.


"I listened to what you and Jay said about the guys that I've liked in the past, and

I totally went back and restarted all my standards. I'm making really good grades in school, and I've been really responsible," Alex says.


Marty and Erin both agree Alex is making better decisions. Erin asks Dr. Phil, "What do we do next? What choices do we give her? What do we allow her to do that shows that she's going to be capable of handling a relationship?"


Dr. Phil explains to Marty and Erin that because Alex has a baby, it is easy to treat her like an adult and forget that she is just 15 years old. "We have to get back to some [rules] that are appropriate for a young, healthy, intelligent girl that wants to preserve her future," he tells them.


Dr. Phil reiterates to Alex that she needs to be looking at her future, not just living in the moment.

In a video diary, Alex tells Dr. Phil about the new boy she is interested in dating. She says she took Dr. Phil's and Jay's advice and found someone that she really likes. "He's really smart," she says. "When Jay's friends talked about finding someone who was interested in what I had to say, I really did hear that. We had like an hour long conversation about marine biology, and it was nice to have someone who was willing to listen to what I had to say. He's very, very polite. He opens doors for me, and he cares a lot about what my parents think of him. So, with all those qualities, I think that this guy is a really great guy."


Anthony, the boy Alex is interested in, introduces himself.


"Me and Alex right now are just really good friends. I'm not really trying to pursue a relationship right now, I just want to be friends for a while. Alex has a really good personality. She's a good girl. There's no one really I can connect with on that level," he says. "I would definitely asks Alex's dad before I pursued a relationship with her because I would want him to be comfortable with it. I wouldn't want him to be angry with me or Alex."

Then, Marty introduces himself and asks Anthony some questions. First he wants to know why Anthony moved from New York to Florida. "The school district that I was in wasn't really fit to match what I needed," Anthony explains. "I have dyslexia, so I wanted to go to a better school."


Marty asks Anthony why he is in tenth grade when he is 17-years-old. "Obviously you flunked a grade somewhere.

I would like to know why or what happened."


Anthony explains that he was held back when he moved to the new school.


Marty then asks why he doesn't have a job and Anthony tells him, "I have side jobs. I do construction at houses. I do a lot of landscaping on the weekends to get myself by."


Marty concludes saying, "Alexandra is my pride and joy and I will be very protective of her, Anthony. Other than sex, I can't figure out why you would want to be involved with a girl that's two years younger than you and has a child — it just really baffles me."


"I'm interested in her as a person," Anthony says. "We have a lot of things in common." He tells Marty that Nathan and Alex are important to him, and he wants them to be a part of his life.

Dr. Phil asks Marty and Erin how they feel about Anthony after seeing the video.
"I'm just like a pressure cooker. I'm ready to explode over this whole thing. This dating thing, I'm just not comfortable with it at all," Marty explains. "I'm just really scared of Alexandra making a bad choice again, and I can't get past that. Why does she have to have a boyfriend?"


Erin responds, "Because she's almost 16. We may not allow her to go on dates, but she's still going to have boys that she's going to like. That's just part of being a teenager."


"I think my dad is being a little harsh, " Alex says. "I know that I've made poor choices in the past, but this is the present, this is right now."


Dr. Phil asks Marty for his opinion of Anthony and Marty says, "I don't think he's a whole lot better than the other guy." Dr. Phil points out that Marty would probably say that about any young man who Alex is interested in at this point, and Marty agrees.


Dr. Phil gives his opinion, saying he thinks Anthony is an articulate, mature young man, and was very patient with all of Marty's questions. "I'm not saying that [Alex] should go on a date with him ... but I think that he's a reasonable young man."

Dr. Phil asks Katherine for her thoughts on Anthony. "I like him because he talks normal," she tells Dr. Phil, mimicking how Alex's previous boyfriends spoke. "I think that's even a step higher than her previous boyfriends." She was pleased that Anthony said he cared about Nathan and her sister, and that he wanted to pursue a friendship first. "That was what really struck me," she says.


Dr. Phil then asks Katherine how she is doing with school and her boy situation.

Katherine tells him that she is doing great in school and she has been working hard with her tutor. As for boys, she says, "I don't even mess with boys anymore ... my best friend definitely has been like putting me in line too." She explains that it helps to have the support of her friends and family.


Alex tells Dr. Phil that she and Katherine still talk about cute boys, but she thinks that Katherine has things under control.