A Family Divided Part 6

A Family Divided Part 6
Dr. Phil continues his work with a family in crisis.
Alexandra interviews the three prospective adoptive couples.


"Why can't you have children of your own?" she asks.


Caroline tells Alex that she and Benji have been trying to get pregnant for two years. "I don't know why we're not getting pregnant," Caroline says. "Our original thought was, we would have our own child and then adopt a child."


"We're now at the point where life will tell us what's going to happen and we're going to try to prepare for it," adds Benji.


Amee and Doug lost their hope of having children when cancerous tumors on Amee's ovaries required her to have a complete hysterectomy. "We always thought we would start a family," Amee says. "It was very devastating."


Tiffany and Paul suffered a couple of miscarriages as they attempted to have children of their own.


"It got to a point where it was obvious that this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen," says Paul.

"Say that medical technology does change and you do get pregnant. How [would] you feel about the biological child and the adopted child? Do you think that they will be treated any differently?" Alexandra asks the couples.


"Absolutely not," says Tiffany. "We want to be parents and it does not matter to us what form it comes in."


"We know that we're going to be parents, and it's just a matter of the right time and the right place with the right folks," says Paul.


"I think that if you raise the child understanding that they were adopted, understanding the dynamics of having a birth family and an adopted family — it won't be that weird to them," says Doug.

"If Alexandra is going to consider you as adoptive parents, how would you feel about her wanting to visit with the child?" Erin asks Caroline and Benji.


"We would give you a phone number where you could reach us whenever you needed to," says Caroline. "We would be happy to send pictures, letters, e-mails to keep you up to date and then work out something that everyone is happy with."


"What kind of experiences do you think are important for a child growing up?" Alexandra asks Amee and Doug.


"I think my biggest thing that I would definitely want to pass along is the strong, tight family structure," says Amee.

"How do you feel about education?" Erin asks Tiffany and Paul.


"Education is very important to us," says Paul. "We both went to college and that would be our goal and our hope for our children."


"Is there something that we haven't asked that you would want to know if you were in my position?" Alexandra asks each couple.


"I think I would want to have as realistic a picture as possible of what my child's life was going to be like with these people," says Caroline. "If I were a birth mother, I'd be pretty fearful."


"I admire you so much for even exploring this, and I hope that you at least have a different view of adoption," says Tiffany.


"It's a miracle ... it's a beautiful thing and there's lots of folks like us out there where adoption is our opportunity to be parents," says Paul.

After Alexandra met with the couples, she discussed her feelings with Erin.


Erin: So if you were going to rate these three couples, how would you rate them?


Alexandra: I would definitely put Caroline and Benji on the top, and then Tiffany and Paul and Amee and Doug. I think they're equal.


Erin: Does this change your mind about adoption?


Alexandra: It changes my mind in that there are normal families out there.


Erin: But you still feel strongly about keeping the baby?


Alexandra: Yes, but I feel like I've explored every option.