Dr. Phil asks Erin her thoughts about what Robin had to say to Marty.
"Robin was so on target, it was unbelievable," Erin says. "As women, we have needs that need to be fulfilled, and we do need a soft place to land ... we need to know that our partner is there for us 100 percent."
Robin helped Marty learn new things about his wife. "Robin read things about Erin that I probably would have never read, and for her to share that with me and pull the switch, it was awesome," Marty explains.
Erin realizes, "As women, because we're raised to learn how to take care of people's needs, I became more controlling of everything around me because he wasn't pulling up his end of it."
Dr. Phil asks Erin if she was surprised by Marty's special night and the letter he wrote for her.
Dr. Phil asks Erin if she will make the choice to receive, and she says yes. "The point is, you can sit back and say, 'You screwed up, so now I'm not going to open myself up anymore.' You've got to make a decision that you're willing to take that risk again or you're not," he says.
Having a difficult time putting his thoughts into words, Marty says, "After so many years, I always wanted to have this kind of relationship. It's just really hard to bring all that stuff out of your soul, and I don't know Phil, it was great."
Erin has a heart-to-heart talk with Robin to find out her secrets for a successful marriage. Erin asks Robin, "I just want to know how you make that work, because you guys have a great relationship and I can see that you communicate well."
Erin says she has already started to make changes. She tells Robin, "I think that I am holding Marty more accountable for things. I've never really done that, I've really parented him, and that's not worked, because now I'm looking for a partner."
Robin tells Erin a personal story about when
Robin tells Erin, "You have to lead men. From experience with Phillip, he says, 'You inspired me to be who I am in the marriage,' but the other person has to be ready to be inspired and has to be willing. I sense in a huge way that Marty is ready to be inspired, and that you are too." She tells Erin that Marty wants her to be more touchy feely, and more expressive with her love for him.
"I remember him saying, 'I really don't want to disappoint you. I want you to be happy and I really want to get you this house, but you know, I can't do anything that will jeopardize our future. I looked at him and my heart just broke. I thought this precious man is conflicted right now about making me happy, and being the man he is, and doing the right thing. I went around behind him and laid my head on his back and said 'Where am I right now?'
Erin tells Robin, "That wasn't ever my priority. I was raised in a dysfunctional household where my dad always said, 'Don't depend on a man. You need to support yourself and do it yourself.' So in a lot of ways I'm having to overcome exactly those things now." She explains that even though Marty made some bad choices, "I contributed to the leading up to that. I was not the easiest person to get along with. I was not there for him emotionally."
"I never realized how taken he was with me when we first met," Erin says. "I remember him being this nervous, skinny guy."
"I was telling Phillip the other day," Robin tells Erin, "I hope at the end of this time with them, that we see two of the happiest adults in the world. I would like to see Erin just jumping for joy, just can't have enough of her husband."
Dr. Phil asks Erin what she learned from her conversation with Robin.
Erin agrees with Robin, and says that she definitely wants to feel that way about Marty.
"Confirmation that it was OK to be needed,
"I don't think those things are mutually exclusive," Dr. Phil tells her. "I think for a woman to ... be all that she can be, is not mutually exclusive from being half of a couple ... I think you may have blurred those boundaries."
Dr. Phil asks Erin how she is going to apply this new thinking to her marriage and the way she interacts with Marty.
Marty agrees that it is important for him to have Erin stand behind him and support him.
Erin explains that what Robin said about supporting Dr. Phil was very important. "I have not been supportive of Marty, and I think that a huge downfall in our marriage is that I wasn't behind him supporting him in his endeavors, whatever they choose to be. And that really just made me realize that I have to open up and be a soft place also."