A Family Divided: Robin's Intervention: Marty, Robin

Marty's Talk with Robin
Dr. Phil talks to Erin and Marty about the progress of their relationship, and he sends Robin to give each of them advice.While she's not a marriage expert, Robin does understand what a woman needs from her husband. She sits down with Marty to offer advice from a woman's point of view.


"I think it's really important for women to know that there is no one else

that our husbands would rather be with than us. It is very important for her to know that she's enough, and that who she is, is enough," Robin tells Marty, encouraging him to think about what Erin needs from the marriage. She believes Erin wants to be assured that she and Marty will be able to make it through the rough times.


Marty responds, "You know, being married 18 years, I still learn a lot about her. For instance, she's never really been the touchy, huggy, feely type. I have to learn to deal with that."


"Maybe you don't," Robin explains. "That's who she has been in the past, but it is time for a change, and if that's what you need, then I think you need to ask for that, and accept nothing less than that. But at the same time, then be willing to give her what she needs. I am not necessarily speaking for Erin, but I really think Erin may be at a very vulnerable place in her life."

 

Robin tells Marty about a very personal event that occured between her and Dr. Phil 14 years into their marriage.
She explains that she was at a very vulnerable place in her life because her father was dying. "We had a very close relationship and I felt total acceptance from him. I can remember thinking out loud, 'Who's going to love me like that? No one.'"


Unbeknownst to her, Dr. Phil heard her say this, and he wrote her a letter. "I have never, ever read this letter to anyone else, but when I thought of you, and the two of us sitting down, I thought, 'I think this might help,'" she tells Marty. "I'm going to read this letter because I really, really think that this really says it all."


One of the excerpts Robin reads says, "You can count on and depend on me. While I don't know how you feel, I know how I feel. We have each other. We have Jay. We have Jordan. That's all I want, it's all I need. Other things come and go, I don't care. I will love you happy or sad, mad or glad. The courage you have shown over the last 15 years in many hard times has been a genuine inspiration. You are one of the few people in this world I truly respect. I will be there for you as you continually are for me." She is brought to tears as she finishes reading it.

"Wow, that was a strong letter. It really came from within," Marty responds.


Robin agrees and explains, "That was a huge turning point in my life, because I never doubted for a second after that that I was loved. I wake up every morning and I feel safe and protected. I go to bed every night and I feel loved. I really believe that all women need that, and I think that's what Erin needs."


Marty nods in agreement, and Robin suggests that he go home and write Erin a letter and plan a special evening for the two of them.

"Fill the house with candles. Get the girls plans for the evening so that you have the opportunity to spend the evening with your wife," Robin says. "Tell her, this is your new beginning, and this is the way life is going to be from now on. Romance, dedication, just everything for her."

Marty plans a surprise date for Erin, and spends the whole day preparing the house for her arrival. He buys her flowers, chocolates, wine, places lit candles and rose petals all over the house, and writes her a heartfelt letter.


Before Erin arrives, Robin checks in with Marty via an Apple iChat and iSight video conference. "Hey Marty, You're looking a little nervous," she says.


"I am very nervous," Marty says. "I feel like I'm 16."


"Like your first date. Well, if your goal was to seduce your wife tonight, I think you've done a beautiful job ... I am so proud of you. I wish I could be there, but I'm glad I'm not. I just wish you so much luck and I'm so happy for you."

 

Erin arrives home and is amazed and shocked at what she sees. She can't believe that he has planned all this on his own. Marty shows her around the house and says, "It's the new me baby."


Erin responds, "I'm really impressed. You did a really good job," and she thanks him for a wonderful surprise.