Are You a Bitch: Kristine

Are You a Bitch: Kristine

"I know I'm a bitch and I'm proud of it," says Kristine. "I was very meek and mild in my younger years, and I said, 'I'm not taking it anymore,' so I became a bitch. People tell me that I'm like Uma Thurman's character in Kill Bill because I don't take s**t from anybody. Dr. Phil can't be critical of me because he's a bitch too. He tells it like it is, and so do I. It's other people's stupidity that makes me a bitch."


Her sister, Cyndy, is concerned. "If Kristine doesn't stop being a bitch, someone is going to hurt her one day. It's embarrassing. She needs anger management. She'll run you over. She doesn't care. I can't believe I'm related to this alien. Kristine can be nice, I think, when she's asleep. If Kristine continues her behavior like this, she's going to die lonely. That funeral is going to be very quiet," says Cyndy.

"My husband, he says, 'I love you and you're beautiful, but man, you're a bitch,'" says Kristine, who has issues with people who invade her personal space, drivers on the road, and people ahead of her in the checkout lane at a grocery store.

 

Kristine's friend, Sherry, says, "I am Kris's only friend. Once you have an encounter with her, you do not mess with her again."

"I have a tough time making friends because I intimidate other women. I don't have time to worry about girl crap," explains Kristine, turning to Dr. Phil. "Dr. Phil, I'm a sexy, sassy bitch. You don't intimidate me. I'm ready to take you on!"

 

Kristine offers tips on how to be the best bitch ever:

  • "You must be blonde to be a bitch. The minute a blonde walks into a room, people take notice right away. Brunettes are sitting on the sideline. All the blondes are getting the attention."
  • "Bitches detest waiting."
  • "Always look people dead in the eye, stand with your hands on your hips, and never back down."
  • "When bitches walk down the street, they never move out of the way for anybody. Make people move for you."
  • "Bitches must dress with confidence, whether it be jeans, a business suit or nothing at all. Bitches feel powerful in whatever they wear."
  • "Every bitch drives a nice car. A Mercedes says, 'It's my world.'"
  • "At the end of a day, a bitch must de-stress. Usually with a bubble bath. Being a bitch is hard work."

 

"Your theory is that this works for you? In what way?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Well, you get your way, you get things for free, you speak your mind and you don't take crap from people," says Kristine.

"What do you mean you get things for free? Do you mean you go in and bully and exploit people so they give you stuff to shut you up? Because that's what it sounds like," Dr. Phil says. "That's the list you gave me, of how you went in and bullied a bunch of service people who are paid to listen to your crap, and so they gave you free stuff. And you're proud of that?"

"No. I'm proud that you can stick up for something that you feel you should've had," says Kristine.

"No, you're proud of it. We just heard you," argues Dr. Phil. "You're, like, just Billy Badass. And you think that's a becoming characteristic?"


"I think that if you're waiting on coffee, if something got broken, if you were charged too much for something, I think you need stand up for it," she says. Recently, she got her luggage replaced for free after it was found broken at the airport.

"You said, 'Being a bitch gets results.' You're right. I think it does get results. I'm not sure they're what you might want." Dr. Phil turns to Cyndy, "So what do you think about all of this?"


"Kristine is — I love her to death — but she's a little too abrasive," says Cyndy.


"A little too abrasive?" Dr. Phil repeats. He reads another quote from Kristine. "'I'm a size 4, blonde, blue eyes, and I'm a sexy, sassy bitch.' Who told you that?"

"Do I have to name all the people? My husband, and a few others," she says.

"You say you just get in people's face. 'The minute I'm in the car, I know something is going to tick me off,'" reads Dr. Phil.

"Without even thinking about it," says Kristine. "People are stupid drivers. They act like they haven't gone to driving school. They don't know how to use turn signals. They cut in front of you. How hard is it to pull into a parking space?"

"You hate people parking next to you," says Dr. Phil.

"Yeah, well, I got into that from my husband. He's very particular about the car," she says.

"And you hate long lines, so you want nobody to be at the store but you?" he asks.

"No, no, but it always seems like there are 10 checkout lanes and there's only one open," says Kristine.

"I went through all the things that you listed, and you know, 90 percent of the people that you feel this superiority to ... they're all service people. Like wait staff, and clerks in stores and stuff."

"A lot of them," she admits.


"You know what I think? I think you probably eat a lot of snot," says Dr. Phil. "I don't know about you, but I've been a waiter before. One thing I noticed is when people waited on somebody like you and then went behind closed doors
with their food, it just wasn't a pretty picture."

"All right, fair enough. But if you do well, I'm good and I'm nice to you too," says Kristine. "And it's not just service people, it's some family members too because they don't like for you to tell it like it is. They have a problem with that."

"You've got one sister who won't even talk to you?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yeah, you know why? Because she's just like me, that's why!" says Kristine, laughing.

"And you've got one friend left. You've got one friend who will have anything to do with you," observes Dr. Phil.


"I usually only have one friend because I don't put up with other people's stuff. If it bothers me, I just eliminate them," she says.

"And your kids are starting to mimic your behavior," he says.

"Well, some of it. But you know what? I don't want them to be meek and mild either and have people walk all over them. I think they need to stand up for things," she says. 

"That happened to you in school, right?" asks Dr. Phil, hitting a nerve.

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

Tears well in Kristine's eyes. "I got jumped by 13 girls," she says.

"And they picked on you, they ostracized you, they actually drove you out of the school, right?"

"And the next school to come," she says.

"Because you said you were just kind of a 'meek geek.' So haven't you become exactly them?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Maybe to a certain extent," she says, wiping tears away, "but I feel like if I back down and don't do that, I'm going to get the same thing from other people too." 

 

"I've always believed that you command respect, you don't demand it," says Dr. Phil, "because if you demand things from people, what you get is the minimum. They do exactly what they have to do to get away from you, to shut you up, to escape you. And I've never seen a person who I consider to be a real success, a real winner, who was a lone ranger."

 

Dr. Phil explains that he spends a lot of time listening to what isn't being said. "You know what I saw when I watched that tape of you strutting your bitchy stuff? What I saw was somebody with a really good sense of humor, someone who had a lot of energy and a lot of zest for life, who just really wants to be happy. And I saw somebody, kind of out of anger and bitterness, who is just making everybody in her life pay for what some girls did a long time ago. And the person who's paying the most is you, because I think you would be an absolute lot of fun to hang out with, to talk to, to have a good time with, if you didn't chicken out and decide you're going to play the self-defeating game of 'Get them before they get me,' instead of just saying, 'You know what? I'm just going to see how this unfolds.' Because I got a sneaking suspicion that if you had enough confidence in yourself to just do that, you would find that people would be drawn to your humor, be drawn to your personality, be drawn to your intellect without having to demand it."

 

"I think everybody has a little bit of bitchiness in them," says Kristine.

"No question, we can all get that way. But you said to the producers those things about me, that I'm really successful. You know why I'm successful? I'm successful because people like you are willing to talk to me. I'm successful because people like these," he says, gesturing toward the audience, "are willing to take time out of their day, get in their cars, drive, stand in line, come in here and share this experience with me. I'm successful because there's a nucleus of people around me who want me to succeed, and without them, I'd be sitting here talking to myself. The difference between you and me is I know that."