Ask Robin About Valentine's: Patty and Jeff

Most Unromantic Husband
Robin tells her romance secrets and helps with two makeovers.
Patty says that her husband Jeff "doesn't have a romantic bone in his body." In fact, when he proposed to her, he was half asleep in bed and said, "Let's just do it," then put his credit card on the table and told her to go pick out a ring. They have been married for seven years, and for the last three Valentine's Days, she has not received anything from him!


"He is a wonderful husband and a wonderful father, but he's a guy who just doesn't understand what romance is," she says, asking Robin to give him a crash course in romance.

Dr. Phil asks Jeff why he just gave Patty his credit card to buy her engagement ring, and didn't buy her one on his own.


Jeff responds, "It was something that I didn't put a lot of thought into."


Robin interjects, "If he had given me a credit card and told me to go buy my own ring, he would never do that again because that ring would be so big it melted the credit card."


She tells Jeff, "One thing that I absolutely love for the 30 years I have known Phillip is, he's very, very good at writing beautiful letters to me. I still to this day go back and re-read them all the time. And it really means so much to me. And I really think that you can start a new tradition with her."


Jeff explains, "I'm not a poet. I'm not a writer."


Robin explains, "He's not a poet. It's from the heart. Nothing rhymes in his letters ... Anything you would say on the paper would be beautiful."

 

Patty says that Jeff did buy her one gift. "He bought me a big-screen TV, and he's very proud about that," she explains.


Dr. Phil asks her if she likes it and Patty responds, "That's a great family gift. Yes, we enjoy it," but it wasn't something that was for her personally.


Dr. Phil explains to Jeff that Patty has many good things to say about him, but there was one question she answered that really stuck out with him.


"We asked her 'How does it make you feel that he doesn't do those things for you?' Her answer was very clear. She said, 'It makes me feel like I'm not a woman.'"


He continues, "I have a strong belief that if you know something that your partner wants, and you have the ability to do it and you don't, then withholding that is a very aggressive thing to do. And that's a bad message to send."


Robin tells Jeff, "What you get in return is just just amazing. Trust me. You can get her what she wants, and you can have anything you want."

 

Dr. Phil asks Jeff what is holding him back from doing the things that Patty likes.


Jeff explains, "It would be a list of excuses to be perfectly honest with you. There's no excuse in the world for not being more persistent and actually taking time out of my schedule to do it." He says that they used to have more romance, but having two kids makes it harder.


Dr. Phil tells Jeff that he really wants to help him and he gives him a suggestion of what to do for Patty. "You want to say, 'I got it.' ... You need to put some verbs in your sentences, buddy. You need to get on the phone, make a dinner reservation, you need to get her some flowers and a card ... I'm telling you if you don't, she is going to tear your butt up ... Now you're either going to do it or you won't."