Standing up for Their Son
Ross says his 15-year-old son was bullied in the form of a controversial wrestling move called the "butt drag," which is a way of maneuvering an opponent by grabbing his buttocks. The teen alleges than his teammate inserted several fingers into his backside during practice. The family of the other teen denies the charges.
Dr. Phil addresses Ross and his wife, Lyndy. "Tell me your son's reaction when this took place," he prompts.
"He came home 100 percent humiliated, ashamed, scared to tell us that this had happened," Ross replies. "Fortunately, the perpetrator in this case was expelled from school." Ross adds that his son has been vilified by his classmates in the wake of the incident.
"I also believe that the bullying starts at home. They learn things from the parents," Lyndy adds. "If the parents aren't willing to step up and get a grip on their child at a young age, it is out of control by the time they hit upper high school level."
[AD]Max explains that the website ItGetsBetter.org, for which he recorded a PSA, helps teens take a stand against bullying. "It's a support system. When they can't get support from parents, friends, family, they go to this website and find that there's a whole community " and the whole world " that gets together on this website to show their support, build self-esteem," he says.
Dr. Phil turns to PR maven Kelly Cutrone, author of the new book Normal Gets You Nowhere. "As a single mother, what do you say to your daughter about bullies?" he asks.
"I always tell her, â€˜Daughters always tell their Mommies everything. We never keep secrets.' Then every day, I ask, â€˜How was your day?'" Kelly answers. "Then, if I notice something odd about it, I go, â€˜Are you sure you had a good day today? You seem down.' We have family meetings twice a week at my house."
"As corny as that sounds, that really is something you have to do, is to have that dialogue," Dr. Phil notes.
[AD]Ross has a few questions for the previous guest, Nick. "You didn't like being bullied, did you?" he asks.
"No," the teen answers.
"Did you have an outlet to talk to Mom and Dad about this? Did you have the support?" Ross probes.
"I had the support, but I just didn't take it. I was just too humiliated to."
Gesturing to Nick, the comedian says, "I tear up, because he's all heart. He's got to think about the kid he burned, because now that kid might grow up to be a bully. It's a vicious chain. You've got to just stop it. You're too smart and sweet. You don't need to be a bully."[AD]
Dr. Phil explains that people in a constant state of rage are not powerful, because they have declared themselves victims in some way and are channeling hurt and frustration.
"You are, in my view, a very angry person," he tells Temica RoShawn. He says the young woman can become a stronger person by making rational and compassionate decisions. "I want you to model for your daughter that powerful and peaceful woman. That would be such a gift to her."