Desperate to Be a Mom: Robert and Arminae

Fitness trainer for Dr. Phil, Robert Reames, and his wife, Arminae, have been trying to have a second child but are struggling with infertility.

 

"I definitely would like to have a brother or sister for Audrey," says Arminae, who's in her mid-40s.

"We've tried just about everything to try and get pregnant in the last five years."

 

"We've done a number of IVF cycles, and they've not been successful," Robert says.

 

"The first time I tried in vitro fertilization, I was angry. I thought why do I have to go through this? I hated giving myself the shots," Arminae recalls. "The second time, we had great results. We had seven embryos. We put all seven back in, because of my age. None of them took. The third time, we did not get great results. Then, I got pregnant naturally. That did not result in a live birth either. This is the fifth one."

 

The couple's physician, Dr. Paulson, said their chances of getting pregnant using Arminae's eggs was slim. "The specialist told me that my

eggs were too old," Arminae shares. "The process of finding donor eggs is a very difficult one."

 

Robert adds, "We were trying to find the right donor at the right price. They would go from $5,000 to $25,000."

 

"Focusing on having a second child has been all-consuming. This will be our last attempt at in vitro fertilization," Arminae reveals. "If I find out that we don't have any more embryos, I will be devastated. I will be relieved. I will try to move on. Somehow, I can maybe forgive myself for having one great child, and this is our family, and it's OK."

"This has been tough, right? Not only just physically the procedures that you go through, but it's tough not knowing, and wondering and waiting," Dr. Phil

says. "How has that affected you?"

"Each time, it's kind of like a roller coaster," Robert says.

Dr. Phil points out that part of the preparation for in vitro is to use hormone therapy. "Does that affect her moods?" he asks.

"Yes," Robert says with a smile. "Just a little." 

"How did you cross the threshold that [previous guest] Eric is at now?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I'm in a position in my life where I think I can get the money back," Robert says. "What I can't get back are these times when we're still young enough to raise a kid … We have to seize the opportunity, because it's here, and we can do it, so, in my mind, because it's important to both of us, I'm going to pull out all the stops that I can."

Recently, the Reames' began their seventh and final attempt at in vitro fertilization.

 

"Today, we're waiting for the call from the doctor to give us the status of these seven embryos, and where we go from here," Robert explains.

 

The phone rings, and Dr. Paulson shares the update. "We went ahead and we thawed three embryos, and all of them survived, and then we'll look at them again tomorrow, and we'll put them in," he tells the couple.



"I'm excited," Robert says.

"We'll see. I hope they're OK. I hope they keep dividing," Arminae says, wiping away tears.

The next day, Arminae and Robert visit the fertility clinic, where Dr. Paulson implants the embryos. "The transfer went perfectly," he says. "The most important instruction is be sure to become pregnant."

 

Robert and Arminae will find out soon whether she is pregnant.

 

"We're going to track you guys on the Web site," Dr. Phil tells them. "We want to know what's happening each step of the way, so we can follow you along. We wish you guys the absolute best."

 

Update:

The Reames' effort to have another child was unsuccessful. Robert and Arminae have moved on and continue enjoying life with their precious daughter, 7-year-old Audrey.