DP Family Returns: A Marriage in Question: Marty's anger

“What Are You So Pissed Off About?â€

"What are you so pissed off about?" Dr. Phil asks Marty. "What I really wonder is when you're ever going to claim and when I'm going to find the right combination with and for you, for you to have some peace in your life. I want that for you."

Marty says that last year there was a three-month period where there were no kids in his household, and he and Erin were home alone. "The first week it was really weird. There were no kids around, no nothing. The second week, she and I were doing things. I was at peace. We were walking around our farm holding hands," he recalls. Then, Chris was arrested and put in jail, and the stress returned. "I actually got a moment where I was like, ‘Man, this is really great.'"

"I'm glad that you had that glimpse into that, because isn't it true that the vast majority of the time you're just really pissed off?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yeah," Marty replies.

Dr. Phil points out that Erin, Alexandra and Katherine want Marty to get help for his anger. "These people care for you. They do," he says.

[AD]Marty says his daughters' actions don't show that. He says they only call him to ask for things, never to see how he's faring. "It's always want, want, want," he says. "Every father's dream is to have the perfect child or children; I don't have either one of those." He notes that Katherine is doing great in college.

 

"Even away from home and away from the girls, aren't you pissed off on the job? Don't you just go through life with a chip on your shoulder?" Dr. Phil probes.

"When I'm at work, I enjoy what I'm doing. I love the guys who are around me, and to be honest with you, no, I'm not pissed off at work," he says. "I actually enjoy and I'm happy when I'm at work."

Dr. Phil reminds Marty that five years ago, they had a similar conversation about his attitude. He plays videos from previous shows where Marty's wife and daughters describe his anger, and it shows Marty displaying agitated behavior. When it's over, Dr. Phil asks Marty for his thoughts.

"That was five years ago," he says.

"You were pissed off then. We're here five years later, and you're pissed off now," Dr. Phil says. "Life is too short. I don't want you living that way. I want you to have peace and be happy. When I see anger, I look behind it, and I see hurt, fear and frustration. Those are the three things that we express as anger. Let me help you."

[AD]"You are helping me," Marty says. "You're taking some of this burden and load off of my shoulders. Every day it seems like there's something else. I can only be a steel beam for so long before it collapses."

"How do you feel about that when it seems like it just keeps pouring down all the damn time?" Dr. Phil asks.

"I get on my hands and knees and pray sometimes," he says. "Because I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel, and so far, there hasn't been. There are little hopes and glimpses, but then, my daughter, she's frickin' pregnant again!"

Dr. Phil asks Marty about his relationship with Erin.

"There's stress there at times and tension. If I didn't have all that stuff in my life, with my screwed-up kids, our life would be great," he says. "Like I told you, for three months, I got a taste of it, and I just loved it."

[AD]"In that five years, what's been the biggest challenge with you and Erin?" Dr. Phil asks.

"The girls," he replies.