DP Family Returns: Erin and Alex Standoff: Erin and Alex

"It Will Never Be Good Enough"

"How are you two getting along at this point?" Dr. Phil asks Erin.

 

"If I said it was an easy road, that would be a total lie. It's very hard work," she says.

 

Dr. Phil addresses Alexandra. "This is one of the things that is taken into account when determinations are made about the fitness of a parent," he tells her. "They look into support systems, they look at extended family, they look at those relationships to see how things are going. Are you plugging in and doing the work in the joint sessions with your mother?"

 

"I have been to every single meeting that the counselor has assigned us," she replies.

 

"Do you think it's helpful?" Dr. Phil asks. 

Alex reveals her thoughts about her mother's behavior, and the two engage in a verbal spat.

 

[AD]Dr. Phil asks Alexandra, "Do you thank your mother and your father for taking care of Leilah and for what they've done for Nathan over the years?"

 

"I've said thank you to my mom, and it's easier for me to talk to my dad. My dad knows how much I appreciate him," she says.

 

"No, he doesn't," Erin says. 

"Whether my mom sees that or not, I've told her thank you, and she comes back with smart remarks, but I still tell her thank you, and I've told her thank you in counseling, and I'll continue to say thank you," Alex says.

Dr. Phil asks Erin, "Will you love this new child as much, who is part of Tony?"

 

Watch Erin's candid response.

 

"One of the things that I see, and one of the things that the most casual observer sees, is that there is so much hostility between you two," Dr. Phil says. He points out that Alex often complains her mother makes biting comments, and that Alex often behaves disrespectfully, rolling her eyes, shrugging her shoulders and shaking her head. "The reason I tell you that is because when this evaluation is done, they look at things such as maturity, empathy, the ability to see things through other people's eyes, like your mother," He explains that DCF wants to know that Alex understands and acknowledges that her decisions affect many other people besides herself. "You can sit here, in all of your self-righteous splendor, and say, 'No, it won't, because I'm going to handle this myself,' but if the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, [this new pregnancy] is going to impact other people's lives as well, because they invariably step up, and I'm telling you what that person is going to look for in you, and it is do you have an awareness of the impact of what you do in your life and what it has on the rest of the people in your world?" Dr. Phil continues. "When you have that behavior of constant eye-rolling, shoulder shrugs, sighing, that's a bad sign. I'm telling you that, because I want to help you with that. When you come on national television and you cuss with a room full of people here, that's just disrespectful."

 

"Sorry," Alex says.

 

"It's just disrespectful, and so it indicates a lack of social sensitivity. These are all signs that are going to be looked at at the time, so I'm trying to coach you here and tell you that you need to rise above that. You don't just need to fake it. You need to rise above it." 

 

[AD]"It's hard for me to be sensitive to my mom, to hear what she says. That may come off as disrespect, but I'm sorry, but people only see us for an hour, two hours on TV. When I go over to take care of Leilah, it's a constant, 'You never do this,' or 'You never do that, this is this, and that is that. If you don't do this, then that's going to happen,'" Alex explains. "Unfortunately, it's hard, and it's something I'm working on in therapy, to have more respect for my mom, but I feel, at some points, that she doesn't see things through my eyes, and it's difficult." 

"I wrote a book back in 1999 called Life Strategies, and I put in the 10 life laws. Life Law #1 was, You either get it or you don't," Dr. Phil says. "That's one of the things they're going to look at, Alexandra."

 

Dr. Phil warns Alex why the custody of her unborn child may be in jeopardy.