First Wives Club: Heidi

First Wives Club: Heidi


Dr. Phil speaks with Heidi. "You do have to make choices. You married a guy who didn't talk to you for nine months when you were pregnant?"

"Yes," she says.

"Explain that to me," says Dr. Phil. "You know, I think life leaves clues. Seems to me that's a clue."

"That should have been my clue," she agrees.


Heidi's story:

"I was nothing but a good woman. I was nothing but a good wife. I did not deserve this," says Heidi. "I knew something was wrong when I found a girl's phone number in his wallet. And I called her. She just played it off like she was an old friend of his. I wanted to believe it, but something inside me was telling me something's not right with this picture."

"A few days later, we were sitting on the couch watching TV, and his cell phone rang. Michael was very flirtatious. I was thinking, who the hell is he, talking like this to someone else, especially with me sitting right next to him? You know, don't you have any respect? After about a 20-minute conversation with that whore, he hung up the phone and I said, 'Well, what was that all about?' He kind of just played it off like, 'What are you talking about?' Like I was making a big deal out of nothing."


A couple of days later, on their daughter's 5th birthday, he told Heidi that he wanted a divorce. "And I asked him, 'Why? Is this marriage so bad? What is wrong?'"

And then Heidi got her hands on a telephone recording device. She recorded some of her husband's phone calls. "Listening to this tape, here was the real deal. The confirmation for me that Michael was cheating on me. I was blown away. I didn't think my husband was ever capable of doing anything like that." It wasn't long before Heidi realized there were two women that he was involved with.


Heidi heard her husband say some ugly things about her. "Listening to those tapes and hearing the things that people say about you can really make a person's psyche snap. I wish he could feel some of the pain that I feel. The s**t that I have to go through every day raising two kids. He's not home, having to get the kids up for school, and cook dinner, and do their homework and bathe them. He has none of the responsibility. You know, he's off single, probably f***ing whoever he wants. I hate him, and I learn to hate him more every day."


Robin gives Heidi her thoughts. "What bothers me is that you doubt yourself so much and you try to take the blame for everything."

"I don't think I'm blaming myself," says Heidi. "But if he could be straight and give me the real reasons of what happened."

"Tell me what answer would make it OK," says Dr. Phil.

"The reassurance that it wasn't me," she says.

"Why are you unwilling to stand up and say that you have rights as a woman?" asks Dr. Phil. "That's what I don't get. How is it safe to live in fear? You say, 'I don't know what he's going to do next.' You know, take your best shot, buddy. What's he going to do, hurt your feelings? He has insulted you. He has burned your psyche. What's he going to do? At some point, don't you just say, 'You know what? Good deal or bad, this is the deal I got'?"