First Wives Club: Pam

First Wives Club: Pam

 

"I think when your husband has an affair or chooses a woman, in my case, a younger woman, you feel worthless. You look in a mirror and you think you lacked something," Pam tells Dr. Phil and Robin. 

Pam says she understands how a woman could come to the point of killing her husband.


"I'm 55 years old. I had been married for 32 years," says Pam. "I feel like I'm a loser. My reward for being married to this man for 32 years was being lied to, cheated on, and thrown away like a piece of garbage. I just think sometimes about women who hire hit men, and I can understand why they would do it. I don't think he deserves to live after what he's done. Justice should be done. God should strike him dead."

 

Pam drives by their old house. "When I drive by this house, it's the greatest sadness, remembering everything that happened. It's a dream that died. My children's home, our home, it's gone forever. I still have the bedroom set that we bought together. We were so happy and excited because it was so beautiful. Even now, I will wake up at night, and I think my husband is laying in bed beside me, sleeping."

 

It all started on their 30th wedding anniversary. Pam explains, "He had been acting strange. So I did what I had never done in our marriage. I went through his wallet, and I found a piece of paper with some apartments and numbers. So I went into the kitchen and asked him, 'Are you having an affair?' And he said, 'Yes.' And then he

very proudly told me that the woman was 35 years old, and that he was in love with her, and she was his soul mate. He wanted to divorce me and be with her."

Pam says her husband flaunted his mistress in front of her. "He would get into our bed with me, and he would reek of her perfume. And I would be lying there, crying. And he would say, 'Pam, if you think that crying is going to make me want to stay with you, you're wrong, so just stop.' He was a monster."

In another instance, she found her husband talking to his mistress on the speakerphone in front of their daughter. "I felt this rage just come over me. And I just lunged at him. If I would've had a knife, I would have killed him."

 

"When we first started watching the video, you looked so defeated," Robin observes. "And so sad and ashamed about being 55 years old."

"I was never negative about my age before this. But when you have a 35-

year-old rubbed in your face, then yes, you are going to look at your age," says Pam.

"The question is, what do we do now? Where do we go from here?" Dr. Phil
asks. "You've got to be willing to say, 'You know what? It's my turn.' You've go to be willing to put yourself on the top of the list for a change. Don't you realize a big part of your being here is I am going to require that you take a turn for you? That you take a turn in your life?"