"After I watched Troy and I screaming in front of Faith on the last Dr. Phil show, I was disgusted.
Troy disputes this, saying that Tammy always begs him not to leave, and he wants to make clear that it's not her taking him back, but it's mutual. "You took me back four times," Troy wants to clarify. "The last time I remember was you begging, holding onto my ankles, saying, 'Don't leave.'"
Troy continues, "I do want to take the emotion out of it. I blame myself getting into this marriage and I'm going to take myself out of this marriage. That's the difference between Tammy and I," Troy says. He says that Tammy blames his mom, her parents, and everybody. "She takes no responsibility for that," he tells Dr. Phil.
Dr. Phil points out the anger, bitterness and hostility in their voices as they speak to each other. He reminds them that they have children in the middle of all of the fighting. "At what point do you say, 'I'm going to stop meeting my need to vent anger and rage on the other person, and put the children's interest first'?"
"I don't know how to do that," Troy admits, blaming Tammy for involving thier daughter in activities he doesn't approve of.
Dr. Phil explains that they have "unfinished emotional business" to deal with before they can move on. Changing partners again isn't the answer he says, "unless and until you get right with who you are."
"Well you could at least get the papers filed," Dr. Phil answers, referring to the fact that she has not yet served Troy with the divorce papers. He mentions that he has the papers in his possession. "If you want to hand them to him you can," he says to Tammy, and she takes the papers and gives them to Troy.
Dr. Phil tells Tammy and Troy that the divorce rate in America is 50 percent for first marriages, 63 percent for second marriages, and 80 percent for third marriages. "Now that should tell you two things," he says. "Number one, racing off to some wonderful relationship that's going to cure your life, chances are not good. Number two, the common denominator is you."Dr. Phil introduces Leslie Rogers, a licensed social worker who has been working with Tammy and Troy. He asks Troy why he has not seen her since March 16th.
"You didn't show up to counseling. That's why she quit seeing you and not me!" Tammy exclaims.
"You said you didn't want to come anymore and Tammy started working on Self Matters and working very, very hard ... she's the one who's willing to do the work and to embrace the process we started. It was too difficult for me to stay neutral," Leslie says to Troy.
Dr. Phil expresses his concern as Tammy and Troy move forward with their relationship. "You must be good fiduciaries for the children," he tells them. He explains that if either of them try to
Dr. Phil tells Troy that he needs to deal with his anger toward Tammy. "You really need to deal with that. You really need to say, 'If it's not Leslie,' then it needs to be someone that you can make an ongoing plan to work through that," he says, offering to find him another therapist to work with.
Dr. Phil reminds them that they need to do whatever they have to do to put their daughter first, and make sure they are behaving as responsible people. "Each of you have things that you can and need to resolve in order to give this child the kind of loving support, from both sides, mother and father, that she so sorely needs, and certainly deserves," he tells them.