Frankie and Gwen: part two

Frankie and Gwen: part two

Gwen wonders if Frankie loves her. "I don't feel love," she says.

"One day, she's cool," Frankie says. "The next day, she's ‘You don't treat me right. You don't talk to me.' Why would I want to talk to you? I can't be around a woman who wants to be clingy all the time. It's just crazy, very needy."

"I go, ‘Why are you so mean? And he said, ‘Because this is who I am. I'm mean. Get over it.' Frankie treats strangers better than he treats me," Gwen says.

"I'm trying to explain things to her, and her thought processes just don't register like a normal person," Frankie says.

"He curses me out, and he belittles me, and he cuts me down," Gwen explains. "Everything I do is negative. I'm a stupid woman."

"Well, you are stupid, stupid!" Frankie says.

So why does Gwen want to get remarried? "Frankie and I have gone through so much, and for some reason we're still together. I feel if we ever get married again, our love is stronger because I love him, and I would love to grow old with him," she says.

"She's always living in this fantasy world of the perfect family. I just want Dr. Phil to straighten her out. It's crazy. It's hard living in a crazy house," Frankie says.

Dr. Phil asks Frankie, "Do you want out of this deal?"

"The thing about it is I do love Gwen, but I can't trust her," he says.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Dr. Phil asks.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend," Frankie says.

Dr. Phil asks about the incident Gwen touched on, where a man came to their house and told her Frankie was involved with his wife.

"I was a police officer, and I pulled this girl over," Frankie explains. "She kept coming on to me. I didn't do anything, and her husband assumed I was sleeping with her and went to my house and told her that."

"Y'all kissed on Tuesday. He came to the house on Friday," Gwen reminds him.

"That's true," Frankie admits, saying he was "under emotional stress."

"Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on," Dr. Phil says. "I'm sorry to say, I've gotten a lot of tickets and ain't ever been kissed!"

"It's not like that," Frankie says, explaining that she called him after he gave her a ticket, and he was off duty when they kissed.

"So, you were inappropriately involved with this person you had cited," Dr. Phil surmises.

"You can say that," Frankie says, but adds, "Not really though because we weren't really doing anything."

Dr. Phil explains his measure of whether Frankie's behavior was inappropriate or not. "You kissed this woman. Would you have done that if your wife had been standing there?" he asks.

"No," Frankie says.

"OK, then that's bad," he says.

"I'll agree," Frankie says. He explains that he's no longer seeing the other woman.

Dr. Phil turns to Gwen. "Now, this husband came and talked to you. What's your relationship with this husband?"

"Oh, nothing at all. It was nothing at all," she says.

"She moved in with him," Frankie says.

"I did," Gwen says calmly.

Dr. Phil sits back, incredulous.

"Two days after he comes to the house and tells her I'm sleeping with his wife, she moves in with the joker," Frankie explains.

 

"Man, this is a friendly town, isn't it?" Dr. Phil jokes.

As Gwen tries to explain the situation, she and Frankie argue about the details. Dr. Phil clears his throat and waits for them to stop. Eventually, he taps Gwen on the shoulder. "Hold on, hold on! What are you doing moving in with this guy?" 

Gwen explains that after Frankie moved out, she was worried about paying the bills. The man invited her to stay in his house until she got back on her feet. More details emerge as the couple argues again, including that Frankie had the man arrested.

"Who went to jail?" Dr. Phil asks, confused.

"The husband," Frankie says.

"Because he messed up his wife's clothing," Gwen explains. "He poured Clorox all over his wife's clothing because he was upset about their relationship."

Dr. Phil shakes his head. "I'm kind of changing my opinion. Maybe they deserve each other," he says to the audience. He asks Frankie, "Are you in love with her?"

"Yes. Sometimes," he says.

"I get that. She's cute as a button, and she can be very annoying, right?"

"Very," Frankie agrees.

Dr. Phil tells Gwen, "And you think that he's a good guy and all, but he can be a problem."

"Yes. A big problem," she agrees.

"Why do you want to remarry him then?" Dr. Phil asks Gwen.

"I love Frankie. I do love him, and I feel like if we're going to stay a family, we should get remarried " if things work out and if things get better " because if they don't, Dr. Phil, I want out," she says.

"You get that there are these kind of chauvinistic overtones to him?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Oh, that's not true. That's not true," Frankie argues. 

"Well, when you refer to her as ‘woman' and ‘crazy,' that's kind of condescending, don't you think? I'm not saying that it's not occasionally accurate."

"OK," Frankie admits, "I can be condescending."

Dr. Phil points out that they do have a child together, one that they verified is Frankie's.

Frankie says he did have doubts about their youngest child, and those doubts robbed him of some of the joy of the occasion.

"At this point, you two have stayed together for a reason," Dr. Phil says. "And that reason is there must be some connection there at some point. But you've got some problems, and I think the problems are neither one of you has a clue about how to be married. I don't think either one of you has a clue about what the role of the husband is, what the role of a wife is, how deception in one area can invade the entire relationship and poison that. So, you want me to set her straight and say it is crazy to think about getting remarried, correct?"

"That's correct," Frankie says.

Dr. Phil leans in to Gwen and says, "It's crazy to think about getting remarried." He tells the couple, "Now, having said that, you do have a history, you do have emotion for one another, you do have children in the mix. And I am going to arrange some resources for you, counseling-type resources, to talk about what some of the issues are that need to be resolved, the issues of trust and fidelity, expectation, commitment, all of those things, so you can think this thing through. And then, if you can get past those hurdles, I will arrange some premarital counseling for you, where you specifically talk about the things that get you ready to contemplate merging your lives together and making a union that is serious and family-oriented. And until you do that, you shouldn't even think about getting married again. If I make those resources available to you, will you participate?" They both agree.

Before you decide to call it quits, take Dr. Phil's Divorce Readiness Test.