Girl World: Katie, Lauren, Molly, Lindsay

The Kind Campaign

Dr. Phil correspondent Katie, 23, says she's familiar with both sides of the girl world. She was bullied in high school and knows how it feels to turn the anger on others. "Because I was a target, I tried to kind of get back at the girls who were mean to me by being mean myself," she says.

 

Katie spends the day with Rebekah to see how the bullying affects her daily life.

 

Katie tells Dr. Phil that after spending the day with Rebekah, she has the utmost respect for her. "It almost brings tears to my eyes right now because she's so mature. She's 14, and I feel like she's being robbed of her middle school experience, and she's fearing going into high school, when that should be some of the best times," Katie says. She tells the teen, "You just need to understand how amazing you are. Just take what they're saying and put it in the back of your mind, as hard as that is, and believe in yourself because you have so much to be proud of."

 

Lauren and Molly, both 22, are the founders of the Kind Campaign. They were both bullied growing up and are now shooting a documentary called Finding Kind to raise awareness about the abuse that happens to girls in school.

Lauren tells Rebekah, "First of all, let me say that you are beautiful. I look at you, and I see a confident young woman who's sure of yourself, which is probably the opposite of what you feel on a day-to-day basis. And let me tell you, I've been there. I understand exactly what you're going through right now." Lauren says she became a very depressed teen when she was bullied and often thought about suicide.

[AD]Molly also relates to Rebekah's experience. "Tell yourself the truth. Stop lying to yourself and accepting what these people are saying because then they win. You are so beautiful. One day you're going to wake up and realize it's over, ‘I'm through it.' I remember when that happened, and it was a new joy, and you will have not only respect from everyone around you, but you will have such a deep respect for yourself and that is something that is so precious."

Think your daughter teasing other girls is no big deal? Lindsay, 22, was once a bully herself, and now lives with regret. In Lauren and Molly's documentary, Finding Kind, she shares, "In seventh grade, I started hanging out with a different group of girls because they were making fun of everyone else. I started doing it too. I just wanted to fit in with them because I knew what it was like to not fit in. There was a girl, and she wasn't the most popular girl. One day, the girls got into a circle around her and were throwing insults at her, and I don't know why, but I specifically looked at her and said, ‘That *, why are you so ugly?' And to this day, I will never, ever forgive myself for doing that to that girl because I know exactly how she felt."

"How do you feel about the fact that you played a role in bullying someone like her?" Dr. Phil asks Lindsay, referring to Rebekah.

"It's one of the worst feelings I could ever feel," she says. "What was so hard about it for me was that in sixth grade, I was bullied. Every single thing they are saying to you was said to me. I cried every day. Every day I went home crying, and I begged my mom, ‘Don't make me go to school.' I had so much anger and frustration at everyone, at my teachers for not doing anything, at my mom for telling me it was going to get better, at the girls, at myself for not doing anything " I had so much anger. And so I found a group in seventh grade that accepted me, and they were nice to me, and no one teased me. They teased other girls, and they made fun of other girls, but they weren't teasing me."

[AD]"And so you joined in," Dr. Phil says.

"Yeah, so I joined in, and I would say these horrible, awful things that I didn't mean," Lindsay says.

Dr. Phil reiterates to Rebekah that what these other girls are saying have more to do with them than her.

 

As a parent, could you be contributing to your child's bullying behavior? Jay explains.