Jealous of My Extreme Makeover: Lori, Bill

An Issue of Trust
Dr. Phil talks a woman who underwent plastic surgery and who is trying to reassure her husband that she's faithful.

After losing 150 pounds with gastric bypass surgery, Lori underwent breast augmentation and liposuction to please her husband, Bill. But she isn't getting the response she had hoped for.

"I feel I look better for my husband, but for some reason, he just thinks I'm going to leave him," Lori says. "He worries that I might find somebody else. I'm not looking for anybody else."

Bill admits that he is jealous of his wife's new makeover and has trouble trusting her. "If I don't see her car somewhere, I wonder where she's at," he says. "She tells me she loves me, but who's to say, two years from now, that she might change her mind like she's changed her body."

Since the makeover, Bill has been indulging his wife with gifts. "He basically buys me anything I want," says Lori, who's recently gotten a convertible Mercedes sports car, a Harley Davidson motorcycle and jewelry.

Frustrated that she can't convince Bill of her faithfulness, Lori asks Dr. Phil, "How can you help me get it through my husband's head that I love him and that I'm not going to leave him?"
Dr. Phil asks Bill, "If you could hit the rewind button, would you have her back the way she was rather than now?"

"Yes, I would," Bill says. "She does look fabulous, but I didn't marry her for her body; I married her for her mind. It doesn't matter what she looks like."

"But you would rather have her back at a size 26 where you felt safe, than at a size 4 where you feel threatened?" Dr. Phil probes.

"Kind of in the middle somewhere," Bill admits.

"Has she changed her personality?" Dr. Phil asks.

"Yeah, she's more outgoing now," Bill says. "She's a little more fun. She interfaces with a lot of people with the job she has."
Dr. Phil asks Lori, "Have you wondered why your constant reassurances can't seem to make him feel better?"

"Yes," Lori says, explaining that she tries to do whatever she can to restore her husband's confidence in her. "I have girlfriends who tell me if anything happens to me, they want him," she says. "Why would I get rid of him?"

"Is the bottom line at this point that you are threatened because you don't feel worthy of her and the way she looks and feels and acts?" Dr. Phil asks Bill.

"I'm getting older and fatter and she's not," Bill laughs.

Dr. Phil points out that if Bill is concerned about gaining weight and keeping up with Lori, then he should exercise and take better care of himself. Doing so will make Bill think, "I've got pride in myself, and I deserve this woman who loves me."
Dr. Phil observes that Bill has been buying Lori a lot of things. "That's fear motivated," he explains. "You're really doing that to say, 'I've got to compensate here some way.' This isn't about her, it's about you."

He tells Bill that he's insulting his wife by thinking she's going to leave now that she's changed her body. "You're saying to her, 'Lori, you are so superficial now that you look better, you're not going to want me because I look the way I used to look.' That's an insult to her because it ignores the fact that this woman loves you and is devoted to you and wants nobody but you."
Dr. Phil reveals that Lori wrote a journal entry about her love for Bill. "These are your words. I would like you to read that to your husband what you wrote," he says, handing Lori a piece of paper.

Lori reads: "I could not imagine my life without you. You are the glue that keeps me together when I am coming apart. You are my soft place to land. I love you more than you will ever know. If there was ever a way that would make you feel 100 percent about my commitment to you, let me find the way. I love you with all my heart."

Bill hugs her as the audience applauds.

"Will you put that on your refrigerator door at home?" Dr. Phil quips.

Bill assures him that he'll put the letter in a frame.