Know it All In-Law: Amanda, Yolande and Pierre

Know it All In-Law: Amanda, Yolande and Pierre

"My mother-in-law is a psychotic woman and a control freak," says Amanda. "My

mother-in-law drives me absolutely crazy. She's a miserable human being. She's a bitch. I just don't respect her."

 

Amanda's mother-in-law, Yolande, has strong feelings about her as well. "My daughter-in-law is totally unpredictable, especially when she's drunk," she says. "She really has emotional problems ... She blows up for everything." Another complaint she has is that Amanda is not well-educated.

 

Pierre, Amanda's husband, admits, "My mother can be very pushy." He recalls that on Valentine's Day, his mother wanted to take him out to dinner without his wife. "My mother is borderline stalker."

 

Amanda says that Yolande started to interfere in their lives the night before she and Pierre got married, when she faxed over a prenuptial agreement. "All of a sudden, the rules just started coming in," she says. "It is none of her business what I do. I'm an adult. I can smoke. If I wanted to sit and criticize everything she did, it would be too long of a list."

 

Among the problems Amanda has with Yolande is that she and Pierre speak French in front of her; a language she doesn't understand. "It's very difficult with the French speaking. It just feels like chaos," she shares. "Whenever I ask Pierre what he and his mom are talking about in French, he never really gives me a straight answer. It's either, ‘I tune her out,' or ‘It's nothing, Baby. It's nothing.' If you can't even tell me what's being said, obviously something's being hidden."

 

Yolande says she speaks to Pierre in French because, "The only way for my son to maintain his French skills is for me to speak French."

Amanda and Pierre live in a house that Yolande owns. She has a key and comes and goes whenever she pleases. "One day, I came home and my drawer was empty. My mother-in-law decided that she w

anted to move my underwear and socks into another room," Amanda says. "When my mother-in-law walks through the door, I feel like I could explode. If something doesn't go her way, she starts freaking out. She's also thrown matches all over the floor pretending that she's going to start the house on fire ... She is like evil walking through the door."

 

Yolande says she bought the house before Pierre knew his wife, and she's not happy with the way they maintain it. "They are draining my finances," she says, noting that she is going to sell the house.

 

Amanda is also upset with her husband's attitude toward his mother. "Pierre is scared to stand up to his mom. She does, basically, control money and assets," she shares. "If she didn't have money, he would basically cut her out of his life."

 

Pierre admits that he likes the luxuries his mother affords him. She bought him a computer, stove, refrigerator, TV, love seat, couch, turntables and a Mercedes. "I either stand up to my mom, and we give up these nice things, or I put up with all my mom's little quirks and controlling behavior, a

nd then we can live in this lifestyle. I really don't know what to do. I have all this stuff for free, and I'm living a pretty good life," he says. "My wife has a much bigger problem accepting the financial help that my mother gives. It would be difficult to choose if I had to choose between the two." 

 

Yolande believes that Amanda married Pierre for his money. "She has been a burden. My son jumps for every little wish she expresses. He's like a slave. He behaves like a slave," she says. "If he stays with Amanda, he's not going to inherit my money."

 

Amanda is at her wit's end. "I'm contemplating getting a divorce," she reveals.

"Did I just hear you say that, ‘If I had to make a choice between my mother's money and the luxury she affords or my wife, it would be a tough choice'?" Dr. Phil asks Pierre.

Smiling, Pierre explains, "It's a difficult choice, but of course I would choose my wife."

"Are you sure you're sitting on the right side?" Dr. Phil quips, pointing out that Pierre's sitting with his wife, not his mother. "That's a pretty outrageous statement. You're trying to trivialize it," he continues. "Would you really [choose your wife]? And are you choosing your wife in what is clearly a turf war and a power struggle?"

"I'm definitely on my wife's side," Pierre maintains. "It's just very difficult to choose between your mother and your wife. I shouldn't have to make the choice."

 

Dr. Phil turns toward Yolande and asks, "Are you, in fact, a meddling mother-in-law?"

Yolande responds that she was surprised to hear the comments Pierre and Amanda made about Valentin

e's Day, because all she wanted to do was come to the house and fix something.

 

"You didn't do anything. You guys went out to dinner, and that's all you did," Amanda retorts.

"I said I didn't want to come on Valentine's Day because I know that's a couples day," Yolande says. "This is really quite a distortion."

"You're lying," Amanda says. She explains that because she told Yolande she couldn't come on Valentine's Day, Yolande wanted to come the night before. "She spent the night overlapping to Valentine's Day."

Dr. Phil turns to Yolande and asks, "Are you wanting to get rid of her?"



"I think she's creating a huge problem. She's destroying my son's life, both financially and career-wise," she says. "She has an alcohol problem, and she completely distorts what other people say." Turning to Amanda she says, "You are delusional when you are really drunk."

"You don't want her helped. You don't want her fixed. You want him to divorce her," Dr. Phil says to Yolande. "You have said, and I quote, ‘I studied psychology and psychiatry in
college, and I am confident that she is insane.'" When Yolande denies that she called Amanda insane, Dr. Phil says, "Actually, you said, ‘Alcoholic, insane, mentally ill, serious mental problems, emotionally disturbed, the weirdest woman I have ever met.'"

Yolande admits she made the comments and acknowledges that she wants Amanda out of her son's life, until she completely changes. "Unless she stops drinking," she says.