Let's Talk about Sex: Sylvia and Jason

Let's Talk about Sex: Sylvia and Jason


"My wife is killing me with her sex addiction," says Jason. "It's dangerous. It's very dangerous. If she could get it four or five times a day, she would."

"Jason thinks I'm a sex maniac," says his wife, Sylvia. "I'm either on one end of the scale where I don't want it, or I'm on the extreme end where I just can't get enough of it."

"The majority of the time, she wants it downright slap-happy, spank me, hit me, pull my hair," says Jason.

"Jason will talk a lot of smack about how he is the man, and how he can perform, but when it comes right down to it, he can't keep up with me," says Sylvia.

If Jason can't keep up with his wife, she sends him to a local sex shop or gas station for what they call a "happy pill." Other times, Jason slips Sylvia a sleep aid to get out of sex.

Sylvia says, "Or, he'll sit there and work late, or he'll have a headache, and then the last time he actually had a minor heart attack." This was one of two heart attacks the beleaguered husband has had. 

When Sylvia is in sex maniac mode, she likes to experiment. "You know, a little spanking, a little spice," she explains.

Jason tours their display of sex toys. "Sylvia loves the little whips, and right here " this one hurts. That one ain't no joke," he says, pulling a whip off the wall.

Sylvia also admits to having a fascination with her husband's butt. "I like to pinch it. I like to spank it. I like to do just about everything with his butt."

"She won't leave my buttocks alone!" Jason complains. "I have to fight her to get away."

Jason describes an occasion in which he feels Sylvia took advantage of him. "The time that Sylvia tied me up was very traumatic, very startling. I've never had anything like that. I had tears come down. I was scared."

The couple finds they are at odds over their differing sex styles.

"I feel I'm oversexed, and when I need it I don't feel like he's always giving me what I need," Sylvia explains.

"Once in a while freakiness is fun, but right now I want normal sex," says Jason. "I want to make love. I want to have passion."

Sylvia fears her sex drive might be hurting her husband, and Jason doesn't argue the point. "I know I'm going to die having sex," he says. "I already know this. But there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing. If it means to compromise my health to make my wife happy, then so be it. That's what I'm going to do."

"I have so many questions, you just can't even imagine," says Dr. Phil, "but let me get this right. Y'all actually had sex on a gurney in the E.R. the day you had a heart attack?"

"Yes, Dr. Phil, we did," says Jason. "I was transported by an ambulance with an EKG and an I.V. in my arm, was in the emergency room, and the next thing I know my wife comes in having hysterics. Thirty minutes later she's right up underneath
the sheets."

"And he recovered," says Sylvia. "Amazing recovery, Dr. Phil."

"Now, what else do you do to dissipate stress?" Dr. Masterson asks Sylvia, "Because it sounds like you get a lot of built-up stress, but you release it with sex. Now, what you're doing actually is very good. You're taking charge. And a lot of women should take charge and not be passive."

"Well, I'm glad to hear you say that!" Dr. Phil exclaims. "This is a good thing, right?"

"It's a good thing if she takes charge," says Dr. Masterson. "Every once in a while a guy wants to be tied up.'

"No, no, no, no," Jason interjects.

"How did you get tied up?" asks Dr. Phil. "Because you look like a pretty stout old boy to me."

"Well, it was in Germany, and German furniture is built very well," says Jason. "And I tried to run, but I couldn't run. She had me pinned down at all four points."

Because Sylvia's sex drive kicks into overdrive when she's on break from school, Jason fears the upcoming spring and summer vacation times.

"Do y'all talk about this?" asks Dr. Phil.

"There's really no talking," says Jason. "She just automatically tackles."

"But, like, right now you're busy with school, right?" asks Dr. Phil. "So you could talk about it now."

"We talk about it now, but then a lot of times when we basically go to bed at night I already know what she wants. Normally, what I try and do is I'll slip her some sleep aids," he explains.

"Yes, he does," Sylvia confirms. "He says, 'I'll be back in 30 minutes. Don't worry, we'll be ready in 30 minutes,' but I'm sound asleep when he comes back."

Dr. Phil asks Dr. Masterson why someone like Sylvia would have such a powerful sex drive when around 40 percent of women say it would be fine with them if they never had sex again.

"Sometimes that can be related to the male sex hormone," she explains. "You could have more testosterone around, and we could check that out just by drawing your blood. And then just like you described, you take a happy pill to keep up with her?"

"Oh boy, do we," says Jason, adding that he takes Viapro.

"In that vein, she could take a less happy pill," says Dr. Masterson. "She could take something that could counteract all of that testosterone and help decrease that."

"Because Sylvia has such an extremely high sex drive, sometimes I get worried that I'm not man enough for her, or that I'm not making my wife happy," Jason reveals. "And I don't know how to fix any of that."

Dr. Phil says that one theory about true sex addicts is that they never achieve satisfaction. Turning to Sylvia, he says, "But that's not an issue with you, right?"

"I'm satisfied," she says. "I would like to have a little more time with him. The sex that we have a lot of times is extremely quick. It's like he wants to get it over with."

"He's scared!" says Dr. Phil.

"I want to have some more intimacy, cuddling and snuggling and just not the two-minute special," Sylvia says.

"I can do that," says Jason. "The problem is, what I really wish that you would do, Honey, is let me take charge. Can I be the man of the house, you know, just a little bit?"

Dr. Phil tells the couple, "Look, every relationship is a negotiation, physically, emotionally, financially, time-wise, space-wise, parenting " everything is a negotiation. And this is no different. What's comfortable sex-wise that gives both of you the most of what you want is something that you have to negotiate. So you really need to think about that and get to it because you want to respect him but yet have your needs met, you want to respect her but yet have your needs met " and be protected."

"And I want to make her happy, most of all," says Jason.

"Well, of course," says Dr. Phil. So you've got all the right things going here. It's just a matter of a little negotiation."