Love Smart Island: Picnic Time

Love Smart Island: Picnic Time

Each guy chooses one woman whom he wants to get to know better, and takes her on a date. Chad takes Hayley, Kevin asks Tyana and Todd goes with Colleen. They have a picnic on a hillside overlooking the ocean. Halfway through their dates, they ask each other questions from Love Smart, so they can get to know one another better.

 

"It became even more fun and interesting at that point because I found out a lot of stuff about Colleen that I probably would not have g

otten out of her if I didn't ask these questions," Todd shares. Through one of the questions he found out that Colleen doesn't want to have children. "I want to get married and have kids, so that could be a deal-breaker."

Chad tells of his experience. "I'm definitely interested in learning even more about Hayley. The more I learn about her, the more I want to know her," he reveals.

Hayley feels differently. "I don't know that I'm really feeling a spark," she reveals. "I wish I was having the picnic with Todd."

"Hayley and I talked a lot last night and showed interest in each
other, and it was awkward that she was here with another bachelor," Todd admits.

Todd picked a yellow flower for Colleen and gave it to her as a momento of their picnic. When they climbed over the fence to leave, she dropped it and left it. This upset Todd. "We went back and I actually found it again and gave it back to her," he says.

Dr. Phil asks Colleen if it was a conscious decision for her to drop the flower.

"Little things like that, I'm not used to getting stuff like gifts or flowers, and I probably, obviously, don't accept them very well," Colleen explains. "I think maybe sometimes I feel like when guys give me things, I need to give them

something in return."

"A lot of girls feel that way," Dr. Phil assures her. "But you don't necessarily have to view it that way." 

When Todd admits that his feelings were hurt by Colleen's gesture, Dr. Phil asks her, "Did you intend to send the message, 'This is a cliché. I don't want this'?"

"No," she says. "I didn't realize it would have that effect."

Dr. Phil points out that Colleen would like to have a meaningful, safe, secure relationship in which she could be vulnerable and intimate with someone without having fear. "Do you think that your inability to receive, and awkward feeling whenever somebody's kind of nice or a little romantic with you, is an obstacle to your getting that?" he asks her.

"Probably," she acknowledges.

Todd shares his thoughts. "I gave [you] all kinds of signals that I was really interested in getting to know you better, and spend some time with you, and I wasn't getting any signals back," he says.

"Were you interested?" Dr. Phil asks Colleen.

"I was, but I have to admit there came a point when I was worried is this power of suggestion, because we were being asked so many questions about each other," she explains. "It was very overwhelming, and I don't give off signals well."

Dr. Phil asks Chad to describe the signals he was getting from Hayley.

"Asking the questions, that really helped us get things moving," he says.

Dr. Phil explains that there is a chapter in Love Smart called "Infrared Dating" where he suggests questions to ask a potential mate to determine whether there is a foundation and a possibility for a future
relationship. "The idea is you don't want to spend six months before you find out that somebody has deal-breakers," he says. He asks Chad and Hayley if they felt a chemistry between them.

"I had my concentrations on [Todd]," Hayley admits.

"I've always said, ever since I met her, that's the one I was going to focus on," Chad says.

Dr. Phil points out that there is a love triangle developing. Chad likes Hayley, Hayley likes Todd, Todd kind of likes Colleen and Colleen isn't sure who she likes.